50 Lewd, Rude & Crude Pickup Lines

AGWDM pickup linesEven though I would cringe if some guy used a pickup line on me, when I see them in a meme, I usually can’t stop laughing my ass off.

When I couldn’t sleep one night, I found 50 of them that I never heard before. Enjoy the laughs!

Do you live on a chicken farm? ’Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.

You’re just like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them!

I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.

I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

Are you a termite? ’Cause you’re about to have a mouth full of wood.

Your face reminds me of a wrench. Every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

You know what I like in a girl? My dick.

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I’d love to tap that ass.

You can call me cake, ’cause I’ll go straight to your ass.

Do you smoke pot? Because weed be smokin’ together.

Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for just one night.

I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.

Do you come here often or do you wait ‘til you get home?

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?

Let’s play house. You can be the door and I’ll slam you all night long!

We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You’re hot and I wanna be on top of you.

You’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you!

Do you like Ramen Noodles? Cuz I’ll be rammin’ my noodle in you later.

Do you like whales? ’Cause we can go hump back at my place.

We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you.

Girl, you should sell hotdogs. Because you already know how to make a wiener stand.

Don’t ever change. Just get naked.

Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

Do you have a shovel? ’Cause I’m diggin’ that ass!

Do you like soda? Because I’d mount and do you.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

Your place or mine? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.

Those are nice jeans. Do you think I could get in them?

You remind me of a championship bass. I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.

If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?

Are you from Africa? ’Cause I wanna know Kenya suck my dick?

Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?

How about you be my story and I’ll be your climax!

I like your hair, your eyes, your smile. I like every bone in your body, especially mine!

Lets play “Titanic.” When I say “Iceburg!” you do down.

Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.

You remind me of a crop, because I wanna plow you.

What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

If I’m a pain in your ass, we can just add more lubricant.

Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It’s just like a French kiss, but down under.

Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.

How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?

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About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

1 Comment on 50 Lewd, Rude & Crude Pickup Lines

  1. When I Was 16, My Mothers Best Friend said ‘Pickup Lines Are NOT Needed. A Woman Has Decided To Hangout, Even Fuck You Before You Ever Said One Word’ She chooses! She Might Even Talk To You! I Learned a Lot From Her!

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