It’s the ages-old question: Are they real or are they fake?
Of course, we’re talking about boobs.
It’s rarely polite to ask. A few big-breasted women I know hate being asked. To them, it’s creepy, even if they’re store-bought. And it’s not like a touch test is always possible. But if you really have to know, here are some good ways to figure out if a woman has fake boobs.
1. They look like cantaloupes. Breasts aren’t globe shaped; they’re shaped like pears. Gravity will give them a bit of a hang. Certain bras, shapewear or clothing may make boobs look fuller on top, but usually not like a matching set of fully inflated volleyballs.
2. Fake boobs are firm. If you see a woman with fake boobs walking, running or moving, her boobs won’t jiggle; they’ll stay in place.
3. Placement. Real boobs are usually situated where the armpits are. Also, the average distance between a woman’s chin and her nipples is 10 inches.
4. They’re too close. Most women’s breasts have 2 or 3 inches of space in the middle, but implants narrow the gap. If it looks like her breasts are touching in the middle, they’re likely fake.
5. Scars. There are typically four places that plastic surgeons use for access: above the belly button, under the breasts, around the nipples, or the armpits.
6. Sloshing. Women with saline implants will sometimes make a sloshing sound when moving. If the implant wasn’t completely filled, it can create an air pocket. The only sure way to notice this is in a very quiet room.
7. They stand upright when she’s laying or bending down. If a woman is lying on her back or on her side and the breasts are vertical, they’re fake. When a woman bends down, her breasts are more conical shape. Again, gravity is your tip-off.
8. She’s a Size 0 but her boobs are DD’s. Natural boobs are made of fat and shrink or grow with the rest of a woman’s body. It’s rare that a thin woman has big boganzas.
9. Distorted fabrics, shading and shadows. It takes a very skilled PhotoShopper to correct striped, lace or textured fabrics that cover liquefied boobs. It also takes some skill to make sure that shape, lighting and shadows are properly adjusted.
So what do real boobs look like?
Depends on the woman.