Essential BDSM Toys for Newbies & Occasional Players

AGWDM BDSM 101If you and your partner are getting into BDSM play for the first time, there are a few essentials you’ll want to have on hand.

Read Up

Many people getting into BDSM really don’t know what they’re getting into. Some of the information on many BDSM message boards can either be really good or really ridiculous. But how is a first-timer to know the difference? A good place to start is Rev. Jen’s BDSM 101. It’s a great handbook written by a professional and surrogate submissive that covers what BDSM is and is not, safety, and techniques on bondage, spanking, flogging, fetishes and more.

Blindfolds

Blindfolds are fun for a number of reasons. They’re great for trust play, as in how well can you challenge yourself to trust your partner, Dom or Domme to lead the way in sex play. They’re also great for sensation play – not knowing what your partner is using on you to excite you. Blindfolds also amplify the sensations that you feel during sex play and force you to use your other senses for clues as to what’s going on.

AGWDM furry handcuffsHandcuffs

Handcuffs are a quick bondage toy that limits your mobility and assures that you’ll surrender your body to your partner. While the metal shackles definitely have their kinky appeal, start off with furry handcuffs. All-metal handcuffs run the risk of cutting into your skin and leaving marks … not the tell-tale sign you want to show off at the office the next day.

Restraints

The easiest and cheapest restraint gear is a set of silky sash restraints that you can tie to wrists and ankles and attach to a headboard, bedpost or the frame of the bed. They can also double as a blindfold. However, you might want to keep a pair of scissors nearby in case you can’t get your partner out in a hurry if your partner uses a safe word or is having an emergency.

My favorite restraints for beginner or occasional BDSM players are wrist and ankle adjustable restraints that secure under the mattress. The cuffs are padded for comfort and are secured with Velcro. You’ll be firmly restrained but they’re quick and easy for your partner to take off. You can even unclasp the restraints from the tether to take your sex play elsewhere or in other positions. Their versatility is only restricted by your imagination.

I don’t recommend that first-timers play with rope. There’s a bit of skill and knowledge in knowing how to tie knots, wrap rope around your partner, and what kinds of rope won’t chafe or leave marks on skin. However, a roll of sex tape can be fun in tying up your lover. The tape only adheres to itself and not to skin. It stays pretty secure yet is easy to take off.

Remember that bondage and being immobile can be physically challenging for a submissive. Warm up by stretching before getting tied up. Start out with short periods of time. Staying in good physical shape helps. A massage or a warm bath afterwards feels good.

AGWDM floggerPaddles, Whips & Floggers

There’s a whole lot of sense in the pleasure-pain connection. When you’re sexually excited, your brain is dumping a bunch of chemicals that heighten your sensations. Your threshold for pain is higher. When you really get amped up in your sex play, sometimes your brain doesn’t know the difference between pleasure and pain. However, you want to make sure that your sexy play isn’t all about pain.

Reversible paddles with “fur” on one side and leather on the other are a great way to switch things up unexpectedly. Start out with light little taps and work your way up to some more aggressive spanking action.

Floggers are also very versatile. I like the way suede floggers feel so soft when they’re dragged up, down and around the skin yet can deliver quite a snap with a quick flick of a wrist. Leather or faux leather floggers leave an entirely different seductive feeling when they’re caressed or snapped against the skin.

Whips and riding crops are great for teasing the fanny, balls or pussy but can also deliver a surprising sting on fleshier, meatier parts of the body.

You don’t have to start out expensively, but once you and your partner find the types of toys you like to play with, it gets easy and irresistible to start collecting some of the fancier toys. They make great gifts not to mention a thoughtful way of paying tribute to your Dom or Domme.

LSOS-banner-ad-240x400-9Couple (1)This post is brought to you by Little Shop of O’s. Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.

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About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

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