Female Ejaculation: It’s #notpee and it’s not an Orgasm

mermaid gushingOh, for the bazillionth time, medical experts don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about when it comes to female ejaculation.

When I mentioned the latest study in Sex Stories We Love in Kinkly last week that claimed that female ejaculation was urine, I left the story that I mentioned about the to stand on its own because I respect the knowledge and opinions of Dr Justin Lehmiller. I felt it was my role as a journalist to be objective not to interject my opinion or personal experience. I also wanted to see what kind of discussion would ensue.

I felt that I already wrote about female ejaculation plenty of times. (Read: Why We Don’t Know Much About Female Ejaculation, but This is What I do Know From Personal Experience and Why is Gushing/Female Ejaculation Such a Mystery?) I thought sharing these articles on my social media channels might help shine some real-life truth to the topic.

Then I came upon an article about this topic in Cosmo, which is read by millions of women and couldn’t have gotten the message more wrong.

Women Across the Internet Defend Their Orgasms With #NotPee

First of all, female ejaculation and orgasms are two entirely different things. Female ejaculation happens independently of orgasms. They can occur simultaneously, but that happens about as often as two partners having simultaneous orgasms.

In my experience, I have no warning that I’m going to ejaculate. It just happens. Sometimes it’s a little squirt that I’m unaware of when it happens. Sometimes it comes out like a hot gush of watery fluid. It can happen once or two or three times during aggressive fingering or penetrative sex. It comes out the vagina, and not the urethra, and can drench my lover’s fingers or penis. Sometimes I feel pressure on my G-spot before I ejaculate. A lot of times I leave behind a two- to three-foot wide wet spot on the bed that soaks through the sheets and mattress pad into the mattress. It’s odorless and colorless. Most importantly, I know what a full bladder feels like and I know what it feels like to pee. I have 48 years of experience with those things.

Then Costwitpolitan included a video of Dr. Drew Pinsky who talked about this study on his show on HLN. Dr. Drew will talk out of his ass about just about anything. After all, he’s an internist who made a name for himself by publicly treating exploiting D-list celebrities for their substance abuse issues for entertainment on VH-fucking-1. That’s like going to see a neurologist for a rectal exam — head up the ass.

Dr. Drew started out by saying that some women who have “a predilection for this kind of thing” do have female orgasmic incontinence, which means they pee during sex when they’re aroused.

Gee, Dr. Drew. You make “this kind of thing” sound like a bad thing.

Then he mentioned the paraurethral gland, or Skene’s gland in women and the prostate gland in men. He said that the Skene’s gland emits the same kind of fluid as men do from their prostate.

Bitch, please. The liquid that comes out of my Skene’s gland looks nothing like semen that comes out of a man’s penis. Not even close.

Then he said: “What difference does it make? People have a variety of physiological responses.”

What difference does it make??? Are you for fucking kidding me???

It makes a difference because pee and female ejaculation are two different things, and doctors like you don’t know a fucking thing about female ejaculation — what it is and how it works — and you apparently don’t give a flying fart. Yeah, you all know how we pee and how men come, but none of you know or give a shit about female ejaculation. You don’t care enough about it to competently advise female patients that might come in for an exam and ask why they pee during sex or if there’s something wrong with them if they ejaculate.

Personally, I’d like to understand how and why I ejaculate. I want to understand this as well as why and how I menstruate or my blood sugar fluctuates being diabetic. They’re all basic human functions, none of that should come with any shame, embarrassment or ignorance.

Then he dug himself further in the hole in which he resides.

“I gotta say if feels uncomfortable talking about this on television, and I hope we’re doing the right thing by doing it. It’s something that’s been hot on social media.”

It feels uncomfortable? Well boo-fuck ’em-hoo for you. You can’t talk about a bodily function as a medical doctor? Our society has massive three-day walks devoted to saving the ta-tas. We have professional athletes and politicians shilling erectile dysfunction drugs and male enhancement supplements. But heaven forbid that we should talk about, let alone acknowledge, that women ejaculate during sex. No wonder why so many people think it’s a myth or are embarrassed because they think they peed all over the place. Women will never ask their doctors about this because even all-powerful know-it-all Dr. Drew is too chicken shit to talk about it.

“It’s different for different people. For some people it’s a mix. For others, it’s, it’s…”

Forget it, you clueless asshat media whore. Don’t bother to finish the sentence. You can’t. Go back to med school. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

And with that, Cosmo says, “So … basically he backed up the study.”

So that’s how hundreds of thousands of people didn’t learn anything about female ejaculation last week.

God help us. I’m going to pour myself a double martini and, if I’m lucky, #notpee.

Shop the latest Lingerie Special Offers at Lovehoney.com
About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

3 Comments on Female Ejaculation: It’s #notpee and it’s not an Orgasm

  1. For me, it happens simultaneously as part of a really, REALLY big orgasm. I look like the porn stars who are usually faking it (which is weird to admit). In my mind, they’re one and the same, even though I don’t expel fluid from my body with every orgasm. But, like you, I’d like to understand it better – in true, scientific terms, instead of small test groups which flaws that even us non-scientists can drive a truck through.

  2. Bobbie Morgan // January 20, 2015 at 12:47 pm // Reply

    Sometimes I wonder if I look like a porn star who’s faking it when I scream. The screaming is NOT fake. I have no control over it and it’s hard to be quiet if I have to be. One time Parrot had to put a pillow over my face. It was hilarious. We couldn’t stop laughing afterwards.

  3. Wonderful, wonderful . . . WONDERFUL !!!
    Wish I could join you in that Martini . . . actually no, better make mine a G&T as a double Martini might make me (involuntarily) #squirt !!!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


*


WARNING: Explicit Content
The content you are about to view is intended for adults. If you are not of legal age or are easily offended by the human body, sexual anatomy, or words like "penis" or "vagina", it's suggested that you click the exit button. You have been warned. Your kids have been warned.
Facebook IconTwitter IconFollow me on TumblrFollow me on Tumblr
http://twitter-widget.com/blog/button-maker/
nmd runnner nmd runnner black nmd runnner white nmd runnner grey nmd runnner gs ultra boost ultra boost black ultra boost white ultra boost grey ultra boost gs ultra boost uncaged ultra boost uncaged black ultra boost uncaged white ultra boost uncaged grey ultra boost uncaged gs yeezy boost 350 yeezy boost 350 black yeezy boost 350 white yeezy boost 350 grey yeezy boost 350 gs yeezy boost 350 v2 yeezy boost 350 v2 black yeezy boost 350 v2 white yeezy boost 350 v2 grey yeezy boost 350 v2 gs yeezy boost 750 yeezy boost 750 black yeezy boost 750 white yeezy boost 750 grey yeezy boost 750 gs