Great Sex & Relationships

Guest Post: An Anal Sex Guide For First Timers by Molly Moore of Molly’s Daily Kiss

So you’re a couple that wants to try anal sex for the first time. It may have taken you some time to agree to “go there”.Or maybe anal sex something that’s gotten you wildly enthusiastic after reading about it or watching it in a porn flick. But before you go into uncharted territory, I’ve asked Molly Moore of Molly’s Daily Kiss to give some pointers about the real joy of anal sex and how to enjoy it sensually and safely.

Anal sex can be wonderfully intimate and arousing but unlike its common depiction in much of main stream porn it is not something to be rushed into but something to be explored slowly and carefully giving the body plenty of time to adjust and accommodate this new sensation.

The key to great anal sex is to actually put it on the back burner and explore other forms of anal play together before even thinking about actual penis in anus sex. The most common mistake when it comes to anal sex is making it the starting point. Unlike your vagina which was designed to accept a penis your anus needs coaxing along a little which might not sound that sexy but trust me, it is.

First of all though I am going to start with a don’t; Don’t use desensitizing lube. Why would you want to desensitize an area when you really want to feel what is going on. Something that masks pain also masks pleasure and you are more likely to do yourself harm as it makes it harder for you to feel when something is not right. Anal sex is something you should enjoy not something you grit your teeth and endure. You will need lube though, and plenty of it so my advice is buy a selection to try out and find the one you like the best. Just avoid the desensitizing varieties altogether.

Once you have your lube set aside a decent amount of time to start exploring together, beginning with using the lube to massage around the whole anal area, use a mixture of circles around and firm strokes across the anus, starting lightly and slowly building up the pressure. This is about stimulating the area around the anus and helping you to relax and get used to how it feels. Incorporate this into other forms of foreplay that you both enjoy.

The next step of for your partner to introduce inserting a well lubed finger into you. The real key with this is to be relaxed and the massaging of the area should really help with this but for many women stimulating your clit at the same time works really well and if your anything like me will lead to an orgasmic response.

Now would be a good time to indulge in some sexy shopping together and buy a small butt plug. I recommend metal or glass as the hard non porous surface stays slippery when used with lube but have fun incorporating different ones into steps above to find which one you just don’t start with anything too big. However over time I would recommend moving onto a bigger plug or cock shaped dildo as this will allow you to experience something similar in size to an actual cock whilst having plenty of control over how fast and how deep you want to insert it.

All this sexy anal fun will mean that by the time you get to the stage of him actually inserting his cock you will be well lubed up and most importantly of all relaxed and ready for it but like all the stages above take your time, anal sex is rarely something to be rushed but should be treated as slow decedent exploration of pleasure between you and your partner.