How to Score with Adult Dating Sites

So you’ve decided to look into an adult dating site like I Want U or Up For It to find someone who shares your kink, fetish, or is looking for discreet encounters or a friend with benefits. But just throwing up a profile and pictures and waiting for prospects to flood in isn’t going to cut it. You gotta work it.

From my past experiences with adult dating websites, here’s some advice…

Photos and Videos For better or worse, you’ll often be judged on photos alone. But keep in mind that there’s someone for everyone. Plus, a photo will draw 10 times more people to your profile than a pictureless profile. I recommend posting a face shot, a full body shot, and a picture of your best physical asset. Maybe it’s your chest, abs, legs, waist or the small of your back. While some women are brave enough to flash their ta-tas, showing off your genitalia is a big no-no. I Want U and Up For It don’t allow it, but in general, women don’t want to see your junk before they meet you in person. It’s creepy and a turn-off. (For guys looking to meet guys, that’s another story.) If you’re hesitant about showing certain photos to the general public, you can adjust your privacy settings so only “friends” can see what you have to show off.

Complete the Profile If you expect someone to be interest in you, give them something to be interested in. Vague and general descriptions like “I’m a laid-back guy” really don’t say much; that describes millions of people. Saying something like, “I love naked movie nights and making pancakes from scratch in the morning,” gives people a better idea of your personality and a reason to contact you. Be just as specific and unique in describing the kind of person you want to meet, too.

By all means, be as complete as possible when listing your sexual preferences and things you really like to do in the bedroom. In the past, I’ve never responded to guys with incomplete profiles. They’ve always given me the impression that that they’re not trustworthy or not willing to put forth an effort to get to know people before they hook up.

Completed profiles can also take the awkwardness out of asking someone you don’t know the “Have you ever …?” and “What do you think of …?” questions. Also, keep in mind that some people might not want to talk about their sexual experiences or preferences until they get to know you or get a better idea if they like or are interested in you. It can take time for some of the most open-minded people to open up.

Most importantly (and this goes for photos, too), be honest! Don’t use fake or outdated pictures. If you’re married or otherwise involved with someone, say so. (There are plenty of potential partners who are married or don’t mind hooking up with someone who is married.) Don’t lie about your age, hair color (or lack of hair), weight or body type. Also, if this is your first time looking for something like a threesome, same-sex experience, or BDSM, make that clear in your profile. Some people are patient and don’t mind teaching, some may not want to bother, and some are curious first-timers, too. If you wind up meeting in person under false pretenses, having the other person discover the truth will only be a waste of their time and theirs.

Communicate In the past, I’d often get messages that read, “I like your picture/profile. Tell me about yourself.” I never did. Give what you’re asking for in your first contact. Give the other person a reason to get back to you. If you don’t like writing, you shouldn’t be on a dating website. Also, remember that you have competition from others trying to get and win over that person’s attention, especially new women on the site. It’s pretty typical that a woman will get up to 100 messages her first day on an adult dating site … or more if she’s really hot looking.

Also, don’t contact someone more than once until you’ve heard back from them. Seeing six emails from the same guy in my inbox before the butt crack of dawn makes me think they’re possessive, emotionally needy, crazy or a stalker. Badgering or getting angry with someone who hasn’t responded to you will more than likely get you blocked than the kind of response you were hoping for.

This post was brought to you by I Want U and Up For It. Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.


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About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

4 Comments on How to Score with Adult Dating Sites

  1. Your suggestions are right on. My sister tried an online website for a while. When she first started she didn’t want to put a picture up and kept wondering why she didn’t get any responses. She finally realized she had to be comfortable with herself before she could really give it a go and put herself out there. Being a little on the fluffier side, she was self conscious. My husband and I would tell her guys like all kinds of shapes and sizes. There is something sexy about everyone, but I think it has to come from within first. Anyway, she ended up going on several GREAT dates and had a exciting summer that year she ventured online.

  2. “…naked movie nights and making pancakes from scratch in the morning”? Where in the world did you come up with THAT idea?? :)

    Love you.

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