Relationship Ramblings

If I Had a Million Dollars on Valentine’s Day

In the past year or so since my lover Parrot and I have reignited our romance, we’ve had plenty of conversations about the process of courtship.

It’s his observation that most men go through the wooing process and stay on their best behavior until they get what they want out of a woman. Once they get what they’re after … whether it’s to get laid or get married … they revert to their true colors. That’s when we see that some men are jerks and some men are nice but aren’t romantic 24/7.

And some men are true blue romantics, men who really enjoy giving of themselves to a woman they love and care for deeply.

I’m very fortunate. Parrot is one of the latter.

I’m not talking about him being the kind of man who out-does himself on those designated must-make-her-happy holidays (Valentine’s Day included), although he does, but it’s in the way he does and says the kindest things for no apparent reason. I’ve never felt that he’s done anything to make me happy out of obligation or to advance an agenda.

Sometimes I wonder what he gets out of all of his seemingly effortless effort that he devotes to me. I sometimes doubt if I do enough to reciprocate for all the ways he’s so wonderful to me.

A man’s responsibility for what makes a woman and a relationship happy is important. It’s something I feel really needs to be drilled in the heads of many men. If they don’t get it, then fuck ‘em (or maybe not fuck them is the more appropriate resolution). However, it takes two to enjoy a great relationship and great sex.

As far as the secrets that make us such a blissfully libidinous pair, I wish I could bottle it and share it with others. I’d love to see more people as happy us. I’ll do my best.

A lot of it has to do with personalities and temperaments that are so closely aligned. We share so many interests like in our tastes in music, the books we read, and our personal and political values. We also have differences that make us interesting to each other. On my end, I find it easy to be curious and supportive of what he does. It can be a small conquest at work, one of his hobbies, or something he’s doing for fun.

We also have a no-holds-barred openness that makes us free to communicate with each other without fear of judgment. We’re also concerned about and supportive of each other in even the worst of times.

On the downside, being separated by many miles and only being able to carve out a couple of days every couple of months isn’t the ideal situation, but the advantages more than outweigh the disadvantages. We’re both cognizant and comfortable with that.

Looking back on these things, I realize that none of them sound very sexy, but they have everything to do with us being a very happy and highly sexually-charged couple.

I realize that a lot of the messages in my blog posts and stories come down to is that love is the key to really great sex. It’s not a moral code I try to push on anyone; it’s just the biggest truth in my life’s experience.

With a nod to the Barenaked Ladies, I often think of what I could do for and with him if I had a million dollars. I just hope these words are worth just as much, if not more.

Happy Valentine’s Day, baby!