When you have one of those rare nights when you have lots of time to spend with your lover, plan a sensual massage. Sensual massage is all about relaxing the mind and the body, finding new ways and places to enjoy intimacy, and it can take the pressure off performance.
Setting the Mood and Things You’ll Need
Set the mood with quiet music in the background that has a slow rhythmic beat. Think of your music choices, preferably acoustic instrumentals, as if it was subliminal seductive white noise. Amazon has some great recommendations if you don’t have a clue to where to start looking for massage music.
Dim the lights and light some candles. Aside from providing a soft glow of light, soy and hemp seed oil candles are some the best massage lubricants you can use. They melt at lower temperatures, about 100 degrees, and the oils are safe and beneficial for your skin.
I recommend massage candles that are made with essential oils that are skin-safe, absorb into the skin, and scent the air with “real” aromas. The power of aromatherapy goes a long way into setting a romantic mood. Resist the urge to buy massage candles that smell overly flowery or fruity. Guys have to wear this scent on their skin, too. Earthly Body’s Naked in the Woods is a tried and true favorite. It has a fresh yet earthy scent. California Exotic’s Tantric Green Tea and Pomegranate Ginger are exotic and mysterious scents, and the candles burn up to 40 hours. And, no, melted massage candle wax does not dry hard or leave a waxy residue on skin. It soaks into skin like a moisturizer.
Massage lotions and oils have their benefits, too. Kama Sutra’s Herbal Renewal is a favorite of mine and it has a gender-neutral scent. One of the biggest advantages to using massage lotion is that you can put a big dollop of it on your shoulder and take a swipe of it when you need more. It’s a lot easier than trying to find where you left the bottle. A key to a great massage is to keep your hands on your partner at all times with no interruptions.
Massage oils feel best when they go on the skin warm. There are several massage oils that have ingredients that feel warm when you rub them into the skin or blow on them. There are also several excellent scented and unscented natural massage oils that can be easily warmed by keeping the bottles in a bowl of hot or warm water. Be warned that just like cooking oils, natural massage oils should be used within 45-90 days before they start smelling rancid. You can use them as a bath or after-bath body oil to make sure they don’t go to waste.
Why make a big deal about massage candles, lotions and oils? Because It’s easier to give and more pleasurable to receive a full-body massage when hands and skin or well-oiled. And the feeling of oiled hands, fingers and forearms sliding on your body is a sensual pleasure onto itself.
If you don’t know how to give a massage, don’t worry. Erotic, sensual massages aren’t intended to be therapeutic in a musculoskeletal kind of way. It fulfills a quench for touch and making love to your partner’s body, not just his or her genitals.
Tantric massage involves gentle touches that make contact with every part of the body. It’s all about seduction through pampering, exploring erogenous zones, slow and deep breathing, and clearing the mind. For as gentle and almost passive as it seems and feels, tantric sex does wonders for eliminating muscular tension, helping to make the body more limber and responsive for sex. For some people, tantric massage takes away a lot of performance anxiety.
Start by having your partner sitting in an upright position in front of you, then into your lap, and then lying on his or her back. Start by gently and slowly stroking your partner’s head, neck and hair before working your way down the body. Tantric massage is not about applying pressure; it’s about focusing on the most unsuspecting erogenous parts of the body, even the nose and eyebrows, sometimes only using fingertips. This three-part video (parts one, two and three) is as erotic as it is instructional.
Nuru means “slippery” in Japanese, and nuru massage is typically the kind of massage associated with Asian massage parlors. The key to this massage is having both partners oil their bodies so the partner giving the massage can slip and slide her (it’s usually the woman, but nothing says a man can’t do this)body on top of her partner’s body while stroking arms, legs, shoulders, back and other obvious places. Extremely well-oiled skin brings a whole new dimension to body-to-body contact and movement. It doesn’t take long until both partners are massaging each other, almost bypassing foreplay, and having the Disneyland Splash Mountain equivalent of sex.
Wet makes a super slippery nuru gel that’s specifically made for nuru massage, but most massage oils and melted massage candle waxes work just as well as I’ve learned from experience. You’ll also want to use an old sheet or a nuru sheet to protect your bedding.
Regardless of which technique you use, don’t fuss or stress out about mastering or completing it on the first, second or even 100th try. If it leads to mind-blowing sex, you’ve done it right.
This post is brought to you by Little Shop of O’s. Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.