When you’re talking with and getting to know people on casual sex dating sites like Casual Sex Oxford (http://casualsexoxford.co.uk) or Casual Sex Plymouth (http://casualsexplymouth.co.uk), chances are that you’re going to run into as many definitions of what a casual relationship is as there are people looking for one.
For some people, a casual relationship is nothing more than a one-night stand. For others, it can mean having a long-term sex partner without co-mingling living situations, families and finances. Either one of those options and the variations in between can be had and can be wonderful. It all starts with managing your expectations.
State Up Front What You Want
Be clear about what you want and what your boundaries are. If those things aren’t okay with the person you’re chatting up, don’t try to talk them into something they don’t want to do or say anything – especially if they’re outright false promises or lies – just to get them into bed. That’s something desperate losers do.
Don’t Expect People to Change
There are a lot of people, especially women, that believe that if the sex is great, that the other person will keep coming back for more or want to develop something more than just a casual relationship. Luring someone in by entrapment never works out or ends well. It’s also dishonest.
Don’t Make too Many Compromises
Be completely comfortable and accepting with what the other person wants and has to offer in a casual relationship. If you give up too much, you’re going to regret being in the situation you got yourself into. You are entitled to have your casual relationship be a good and happy thing, sexually and otherwise.
When Emotions Get Lopsided
As much as people can tell themselves that a casual relationship is “just sex”, sex is loaded with emotions. After all, sex feels great. Right? A lot of those “feel good” emotions can lead to attachment. That’s why open communication is so important. Talk about your casual relationship as it evolves. If feelings for and expectations of each other aren’t mutual, it’s easier to deal with the situation sooner than later.
Like the person you’re hooking up with. Be decent, kind, thoughtful and respectful. If you can’t do or be those things, don’t expect a hot sexual vibe in return. If you feel like that’s a chore or obligation, the other person will sense that and think you’re an asshole, and no one wants to have sex with an asshole. And if you don’t like the person you’re hooking up with or if you’re not having fun like friends of any other type do, your sex is not going to be fun.
A Word About Respect
I recently came upon a blog discussion thread where a bunch of men were complaining about the way women disrespect them. Everyone is entitled to respect but it’s earned both ways. If you don’t treat people well, hold up your responsibilities, or keep your word, the other person has every right to be pissed off with you. Being in casual relationship doesn’t mean that you can be casual about manners and courtesy.
Finding a Casual Sex Partner isn’t Necessarily Immediate or Easy
Even if there are hundreds or thousands of potential casual sex partners on a casual sex dating site, it doesn’t mean that you should expect sex on demand or instant gratification. It might take weeks or months to find or cultivate an eventual hookup. Remember that you’re dealing with available people and not just available bodies. Just because someone is available for a casual relationship doesn’t mean that they owe you sex.
For more tips on managing expectations in a casual relationship, check out How to Manage a Casual Sex Relationship in Oxford (http://casualsexoxford.co.uk/how-to-manage-a-casual-sex-relationship-in-oxford) in Casual Sex Oxford.
This post is brought to you by Casual Sex Oxford (http://casualsexoxford.co.uk) and Casual Sex Plymouth (http://casualsexplymouth.co.uk). Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.