A lot of the erotic short stories Parrot and I have written over the years have actually been about us. Some of the storylines may have been fictionalized or altered just a bit from our real-life erotic experiences, but the ways that we think about each other, the dialog, and the ways we have sex are very true and accurate.
So we thought it would be fun to talk about and share our writing process and what’s behind our real-life sex with you.
Do the two of us really have sex the way we do in our stories?
Bobbie: Absolutely! The way we have sex is a lot more than great technique, great foreplay and interlocking each other’s body parts even though all of those things are great. The actions, thoughts and sensations are very real in extraordinary ways. They really are off the charts! Almost every time we have sex, we often say, “If anyone ever knew what kind of sex we have, they’d never believe us.” That’s why I think our sex life is fodder for so many stories we’ve written. It really is real-life fantasy.
Parrot: Sex for any long-term couple runs the gamut between sleepy, comfortable lovemaking to screaming, nuclear orgasm and everything in between. It’s all lovely, but we tend to write about the more extreme end of the scale. Even though we may spend hours spoiling and pleasuring each other at times, both of us rising to incredible heights of passion, there are also tender moments as with morning sex. Those times are much more low-key, but every bit as meaningful as the more spectacular ones.
What’s totally fictionalized and what’s not?
Bobbie: There are some stories I’ve written like The Secret Power of Touch that actually started out the way the story did – a surprise appointment for a couples massage. Parrot’s a master of pulling off surprise romantic, over- the-top and sexy outings. I thought my intrigue, anticipation as well as the setting was a great premise for writing a hot, erotic story. Even though some details of the story were fictionalized, we as characters and the way we are with each other and have sex were not.
Parrot: A good friend of mine, a theologian, once said, “There are stories that are true, and there are stories that are about the truth.” That resonated with me years ago, and it still does. When Bobbie and I write “fiction,” the main characters in our stories are frequently based on the two of us, even though we may elaborate for dramatic effect. Even though the stories we write are fiction, we always try to write in a way that is “about the truth.” We really don’t exaggerate anything, although we may change the setting. A story like Up on the Hill took place in an idyllic setting—a horseback ride up a hill overlooking the beautiful Sonoma Valley. There were actually several different occasions in our real life that I used for the story. We did actually ride horses through a vineyard, although it was in a group of eight plus a guide. We did actually go up a hill overlooking Sonoma Valley. We did actually have a secluded picnic where we made love. They were on three separate occasions, and I put those three together into one scene.
Why fictionalize anything if our sex is that hot?
Bobbie: Erotica is hot because of the fantasy element. Even though we’ve been to some really special places and have done some extraordinary things together, sometimes we’ll say or think, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we could make love right here?” Of course, not all of those places were appropriate to have public sex. However, we’re always pretty much on the same page when we talk about our fantasies and taking things one step beyond. Discussions like those have been the inspiration for us to write stories like His Big Tent Pole and The Blizzard.
We’ve also had really extraordinary sex that has taken place in very ordinary places like my bedroom. However, when we write, we focus on great storytelling that’s very character-driven and not just two people fucking.
Parrot: We have actually been able to turn most of our fantasies into reality. Fiction provides the illusion of reality, but it’s not simply an unedited record of something that happened. That would be boring. So we often take a real situation and describe it in a way that will give a truthful representation of what may actually have happened.
What makes your lover a great lover?
Bobbie: Outside of the bedroom, Parrot is always loving, kind and polite with me. He’s incredibly romantic and indulgent with me, not because he has to but because he wants to and enjoys it. He’s the perfect gentleman. He also has a subversive sense of humor and a mischievous side that’s a whole lot of mischievous fun. The way he is with me outside of the bedroom allows me to be totally open to express my Eros with him without fear of scaring him or passing judgment on me.
And, yeah, he’s quite the talented lover in bed. Talk about mad sex skills! I don’t have to embellish any of his personality traits or sex skills one bit.
Parrot: Bobbie gives me too much credit and not enough to herself. The reason we are so good together is that we choose to be. We are very open with each other about what we like and what we don’t like, and not just sexually. A big part of our relationship is that neither of us is in a big hurry, and we are not goal seekers — you know, striving for the Big “O” every single time. There are some times when neither one of us “gets there,” but our experience is still sublime. This is because our physical relationship is an extension and expression of our total relationship. It also helps that both of us pay attention to the details: she has an uncanny knack for knowing just how close I am to orgasm, then holding me there, just short of the point of no return. We have also learned each other’s bodies so we know what will bring pleasure. And we keep learning, because there’s no point at which we know everything.
When we have been apart for two or three months, we are literally starving for each other. Our “homecoming sex” (our tradition is that we spend our first night together in a nice hotel) is at first frenzied and quick. But as time goes by, we find our groove. It’s all part of knowing each other and knowing that every time we make love—even when it is quick—it is an expression of our love for each other, and not so much about our moves or technique.
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