Great Sex & Relationships

Men, Do Your Part to Help Women Remove Their Sexual Roadblocks

As someone who has an incredible lover with whom I openly and frankly talk about sex, sometimes I forget the roadblocks a lot of women have in sexually expressing themselves with their partner whether he’s a spouse of decades or a guy who’s new in her life.

– Being considered slutty or promiscuous

– Being resented or rejected for bringing on performance anxiety

– Fear of scaring a man

– Fear of hearing how a man will feel insulted if she thinks he doesn’t think he knows what he’s doing (even when he doesn’t)

– Having a man have second thoughts about her because “she knows too much”

– Fear of making a man feel that he’s being disempowered or emasculated

– Because talking about sex is awkward

Lots of men talk a good game about wanting a woman who’s a lady on the street and a whore between the sheets, but in the past, I’ve fallen into every one of those situations that I listed above.

I simply don’t get that these fears and realities are deeply rooted in double standards. Men and women are both sexual creatures. Why shouldn’t a woman enjoy sex as much as a man, and why wouldn’t a man want a woman who’s a sexual equal to him? After all, great sex requires two people.

Isn’t it time that men allowed women to allow themselves to sexually express themselves and communicate without being judged? Are those thoughts, actions and behaviors worth shortchanging and sabotaging your sex life … and her sex life?

All too often, men stray from their relationships because they’re not getting the sex they want at home. When it comes down to that, who’s really at fault?

It’s not just men who create these sexual roadblocks. By the time a lot of women reach the age of being sexually active, they’re had so much conditioning about what it means to be a desirable woman … Be pretty, be feminine, look sexy, but by all means, don’t act sexy. And heaven forbid, no respectful woman should ever like the kinky stuff, let alone think or talk about it.

In a lot of cases, those do’s and don’ts are reinforced by her female friends, family and the media well into a woman’s adult years.

When I put all those things in that perspective, I’m sure a lot of men will think, “That’s a lot of shit for me to take on. I don’t think I want to be pressured or bothered to change my behavior, my way of thinking, and take on the task of helping her unload all that baggage.”

I’m not saying that all that effort can be done all at one time. It may take baby steps and years, but things have to change for everyone’s benefit.