Ask the Sexpert

Ms. Q & A: He Doesn’t Want to Give Up His Panties for a Woman

Dear Ms. Q,

For the first time in 18 years I’m dating again.

A lot of my lady friends say I’m quite a catch. They say I’m good looking, look young for my age (53), and have a nice butt. I have a good job and golf, sail and travel. I can safely say I’m a gentleman. I love to please women.

But there’s one thing that my female friends and no one else knows about me: I love to wear women’s bikinis. Not just once in a while, but all the time. I’m not bisexual and I’m not submissive or into the BDSM thing. I just like the way they fit and feel on me.

My late wife was more than OK with it. I don’t want to replace her, but I’d love to find a classy, professional woman who can accept my choice in underwear. It’s something I really don’t want to give up. I’ve been wearing women’s panties since I was in college.

Panty King

Dear King,

Welcome back to the world of dating. I’m sure it’s much different since the last time you went through this.

I’ve never been big on the concept of online dating. However, there are some sites like and that are suited for people who are more sexually “out there” or progressive than most. They’re great places where you can be upfront about your clothing preferences without fear of being ridiculed or outed. I don’t think I have to tell you that women talk, and the juicier the gossip, the farther and faster word gets around. After all, the women who are on these sites expect discretion, too.

I only suggest the adult/sex-oriented sites is because I once met a really nice guy a few years ago who liked wearing women’s clothes and lingerie. If I had known this before we went out a few times and spent several long evenings talking on the phone, I wouldn’t have wasted his or my time. No offense to you, but I prefer seeing men in boxers or briefs or men who go commando. I felt bad telling him that his choice in clothing was a deal-breaker for me.

Granted, some of those sites attract a fair amount crazies, but people with kinks and fetishes come from all walks of life … even women who are open-minded about or get turned on by men who wear panties.