Ask the Sexpert

Ms. Q & A: His Erection Has Gone to Pot

Dear Ms. Quote,

I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months. I’m 42 and he’s 47. In all the times we’ve had sex (2-3 times a week), he’s never been able to maintain an erection or come.

I think I big part of the problem is that he’s a pot smoker. He smokes at least once a day.

He insists it’s not the problem. He says he has no problem coming when he masturbates.

He’s trying to do a couple of things that might help like not jacking off as much (he says he masturbates 1-3 times a day), eating a vegan diet, and cutting back on caffeine. He’s asking me to be patient with his efforts, but he refuses to give up or cut back on pot and he says he can do this without going to a doctor.

It’s not as if an incomplete sex life is a deal breaker for me, but his stubbornness in not doing everything he can to correct the problem is driving me up a wall.

Unfulfilled in More Ways Than One

Dear Unfulfilled,

First of all, I’m not a doctor and I can’t give medical advice, but I think that I can safely say that self-medication is not the answer.

I’ve heard that pot can lead to erectile dysfunction and heard of a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that suggests that there are cannabis receptors in the penis that make it go limp when a man is lit.

I can understand your frustration with him not being willing to give up or cut back on his pot habit. I think it would be a worthwhile effort not just for his and your sexual fulfillment, but for his general health, as well. If he refuses to cut back or cut it out completely, it sounds as if he has more than a just recreational habit.

Cutting back on his chicken choking may help. According to some documentation I found in a report about masturbation by the Kinsey Institute, among undergraduate students, men reported masturbating an average of 12 times per month. Has he not heard the Whitney Houston song Saving All My Love for You? Considering the cycle a typical man goes through in order to regain his erection and fertility, I can see how his frequent masturbation can interfere with his role as a team player. I think it would be a safe bet to say that he’s so conditioned by coming on his own that the break in his routine could be throwing him off his game with you, too.

But like I said at the start, I’m not a physician, but I think it would be wise or him to talk to a doctor about this problem. I can understand that he might be nervous or anxious about talking to a doctor about this, especially if he has to divulge his self-medication and self-love habits … that’s if he’s willing to be honest about them. I’m sure and he probably knows that he’ll get “the lecture” and/or be offered a prescription for a little blue pill. But doctors hear about and treat erectile dysfunctional the time. Plus, there could be other medical or medication issues that may be affecting his performance.

As far as eating a vegan diet and cutting back on caffeine go, I haven’t found anything to suggest that either will enhance a man’s sexual performance, but they’re habits that have some great overall health benefits.