Ms. Q & A: She’s Afraid Anal Sex Will Hurt

Dear Ms. Q,

My wife is afraid to have anal sex. She’s afraid it’s going to hurt. She says that she had a bad experience with in when she was younger and a penis got stuck inside of her, and she’s afraid to try again.

It’s not a must-have thing for me, but it would be nice to spice up our sex life. Any suggestions?


Dear Kramer … I mean Assman,

Ouch! I can see why she wouldn’t want to go there, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t alternatives.

Suggest to her that the two of you try out something smaller and more slender than a penis, like a finger or an anal vibrator. I haven’t tried this Clear Pink Passion Plug, but it’s gotten some rave reviews. Anything to stimulate those sensitive nerve endings at the top of the tissue will be sure to drive her wild and make her a fan of anal play. Glass anal dildos are also favorites of anal fans since they slide in and out easily, can be dipped in cold or warm water for fun temperature play, and are easier to keep clean than synthetic products. Anal beads are another fun anal toy for beginners. You can start with the smallest bead that measures only ¼ inch and work up to the one-inch bead.

Also, you’ll want to be really generous with the lube. It’s better to have your finger or sex toy slide in and out easily than cause friction, which will likely freak her out forever. I would also suggest using a condom over your finger or an anal sex toy for hygiene and easy clean up. Disposable examination gloves, like the kind that are used in the doctor’s office and in restaurant kitchens, work well and are cheaper than condoms.

Good luck and have fun regardless of what your wife decides!

Ms. Q

Got a question for me? Email me at msquote2(at)hotmail(dot)com.

Shop the latest Lingerie Special Offers at
About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

3 Comments on Ms. Q & A: She’s Afraid Anal Sex Will Hurt

  1. JACQUELINE FERGUSON // March 18, 2013 at 6:21 pm // Reply


  2. My wife and I are both 68 years old, over the years I have asked for anal sex many times only to be refused because my wife thought it would hurt her, after reading 50 shades of grey she let me try,we found that using a good lube is a must we use cocoa butter, we now have anal sex 3 or 4 times a week I get more satisfaction than I do from virginal sex it is also easier to get a strong erection thinking about anal sex, my wife loves me to finger her bum with 3 fingers before I enter her,she tells me she enjoys anal sex and is sorry we did not do it long ago. Mel

  3. When I was younger, I was raped anally. A couple years later a boyfriend asked me for it and I explained what had happened. He looked me in the eye and told me he would take it slow and if it hurt too much we would stop, so me being me, I said ok I’ll try it. Boy am I glad I did!!! I love it now. Taking it slow and lots of lube are very helpful for first timers.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


WARNING: Explicit Content
The content you are about to view is intended for adults. If you are not of legal age or are easily offended by the human body, sexual anatomy, or words like "penis" or "vagina", it's suggested that you click the exit button. You have been warned. Your kids have been warned.
Facebook IconTwitter IconFollow me on TumblrFollow me on Tumblr
nmd runnner nmd runnner black nmd runnner white nmd runnner grey nmd runnner gs ultra boost ultra boost black ultra boost white ultra boost grey ultra boost gs ultra boost uncaged ultra boost uncaged black ultra boost uncaged white ultra boost uncaged grey ultra boost uncaged gs yeezy boost 350 yeezy boost 350 black yeezy boost 350 white yeezy boost 350 grey yeezy boost 350 gs yeezy boost 350 v2 yeezy boost 350 v2 black yeezy boost 350 v2 white yeezy boost 350 v2 grey yeezy boost 350 v2 gs yeezy boost 750 yeezy boost 750 black yeezy boost 750 white yeezy boost 750 grey yeezy boost 750 gs