Adult Sex Ed

Ms. Q & A: She’s Afraid Anal Sex Will Hurt

Dear Ms. Q,

My wife is afraid to have anal sex. She’s afraid it’s going to hurt. She says that she had a bad experience with in when she was younger and a penis got stuck inside of her, and she’s afraid to try again.

It’s not a must-have thing for me, but it would be nice to spice up our sex life. Any suggestions?


Dear Kramer … I mean Assman,

Ouch! I can see why she wouldn’t want to go there, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t alternatives.

Suggest to her that the two of you try out something smaller and more slender than a penis, like a finger or an anal vibrator. I haven’t tried this Clear Pink Passion Plug, but it’s gotten some rave reviews. Anything to stimulate those sensitive nerve endings at the top of the tissue will be sure to drive her wild and make her a fan of anal play. Glass anal dildos are also favorites of anal fans since they slide in and out easily, can be dipped in cold or warm water for fun temperature play, and are easier to keep clean than synthetic products. Anal beads are another fun anal toy for beginners. You can start with the smallest bead that measures only ¼ inch and work up to the one-inch bead.

Also, you’ll want to be really generous with the lube. It’s better to have your finger or sex toy slide in and out easily than cause friction, which will likely freak her out forever. I would also suggest using a condom over your finger or an anal sex toy for hygiene and easy clean up. Disposable examination gloves, like the kind that are used in the doctor’s office and in restaurant kitchens, work well and are cheaper than condoms.

Good luck and have fun regardless of what your wife decides!

Ms. Q

Got a question for me? Email me at msquote2(at)hotmail(dot)com.