Ask the Sexpert

Ms. Q & A: Why do Men Send Dick Pics?

Dear Ms. Quote,

Why do men send dick pics?

Curious Callie

Dear Curious One,

I have no idea. I’m not a guy, and I’m certainly that that guy.

I threw your question out to the Twittersphere three different times and never got a response. I read lots of stories with suppositions of why men send dick pics to women, but not one from a man who makes a habit of photographing his penis.

As often as men text, tweet and message pictures of their one-eyed snakes, you’d think that at least one of them would speak for the tribe.

My first guess as to why some men send out dick pics is because guys are visual beings. They love looking at boobs. Some love looking at butts. Give them a chance to catch a snatch a glimpse of a … well, you know … they’re not going to look away.

Guys who don’t understand or don’t care to know how women think probably say to themselves, “If I get turned on by naked body parts on women, then women will certainly be impressed with my hard staff of glorious manliness.”

It’s been several years since I’ve done the online dating thing, and I had more cock shots sent to me than I ever cared to receive. It was always a conversation ender.

Here’s why …

– You wouldn’t whip out your schlong in a public place like a party or a bar to get to know or impress me. What makes you think that it’s OK to bypass manners and respectful behavior online?

– I understand that cock shots are shorthand for “I’m horny.” If you’re looking for a sex partner, at least go through the effort of getting to know me and finding out if there’s chemistry between us before exposing your naked self … in person. If you think my expectation of making an effort is wasting your time, then I have no time or purpose for you.

– There’s nothing sexy about seeing an erect penis poking out of a pair of boxers or pants with no other visible body parts and a face. It’s even less sexy if there are towels or sheets lying on the floor in the background.

– Shoving a naked penis in my face feels like I’m being sexually assaulted. It’s not the way I want a man I really don’t know to tell me that he wants to have sex with me.

– If you expect my reaction to be, “Oooh … I love your cock. I want it now,” then you’ve been watching too much porn. I’m not a porn actress.

– A man’s penis is the last thing I want to see in evaluating if a man is worthy of sex. Furthermore, it’s not a deal breaker if it gets to that point.

– If you’re only interested in online sex chatting or sexting, I’m not interested. I don’t have time for that and sex chatting and sexting alone do nothing for me.

Is it ever OK to send a dick pic? Ask a woman first. My general rule is if it’s too awkward to ask, you have no business sending her one.

Why sending dick pics has continued to be a phenomenon ever since it has been possible to share photos over the Internet and phones is beyond me. It generally doesn’t work as part of the as a courtship process.

Ms. Q

Got a question for me? Email me at msquote2(at)hotmail(dot)com.