Adult Sex Ed

My Adult Sex Ed Month (#AdultSexEdMonth) Final Exam

As the instigator of Adult Sex Ed Month (#AdultSexEdMonth) I felt compelled to give myself a final exam.

But if I gave myself my own exam, wouldn’t that be cheating?

What I decided to do was something that an American Lit professor did in college. He said that our final exam would be an in-class essay, and if we did all of the reading and came to all of the lectures, we’d be well-prepared.

We came to class, he handed us a single sheet of paper, and said, “Write about the most important thing you learned this semester.”

This self-imposed directive, like me, isn’t easy. It’s hard … in more ways than one.

I’ve always been curious about how our minds and bodies act and react during sex. I know my mind and body go through so many unbelievable transformations during sex … sometimes to the point that I don’t feel human or like any other living being on Earth. Not only do I want to understand my body better, but I want to understand men (especially the man in my life) better, too.

Wallace at Condom Depot TV did such a great job of explaining erections that he had to do it in four separate segments: the Excitement Phase, the Plateau Phase, the Orgasm Phase and the Resolution Phase. Granted, there are a ton of physiological things that go on with and in addition to the penis during the erection process, he also gives some great tips to make the most of your/a man’s erection. As Wallace puts it, “understanding it can increase the pleasures you and your partner get out of sex.”

It’s not only important to understand my and my partner’s bodies when sex is concerned, but our minds, as well. After all, sex is a powerful emotional experience, even if you dismiss it as “just sex” or sport fucking.

While I have a pretty good idea what makes my lover when he’s horny, I got a lot of insight about what makes men tick in general by reading Dr. Carleen Costa’s article, What Men Think About During Sex. I also thought Jill Hamilton’s article, What Women Want: A Primer, was refreshingly and explicitly honest.

For those of you who are regular readers of my blog,you know that I’m big on communication as a big success factor in sex and relationships. The article/video that I learned the most about communication … ever … came by way of Jon Pressick at Sex in Words, What Are You Into? An Important Question of Communication. He shared a video by Dan Savage’s on what straight people can learn from gay people’s relationships.

While sex is never the same twice with my lover, I’m always looking for new ways to fuck and make love. There were lots of great how-to articles about sex positions, but finding the ideal position has a lot to do with height, fitness, flexibility, where you’re having sex, and the shape and size of interlocking body parts. The interactive graphic in Assume a New Position in Women’s Health Magazine takes out a lot of guess work in finding the best position. Give the link a click and you’ll see what I mean.

I realize that I couldn’t come up with the most important thing that I got out of #AdultSexEdMonth. But as you can tell by the answer to my self-imposed final exam, there is no single most important thing about sex and chances are what’s important to me isn’t the same for you. If you are looking for some good sex advice, I’ll keep the list of articles so many of you wrote and shared during #AdultSexEdMonth on my site. I’ll also use and I hope you’ll use the #AdultSexEd hashtag to share sex advice on Twitter and Facebook throughout the rest of the year.