I resisted using lube for years. I believed all those stories about women only needing lube when they got old, hit menopause, were too “dried up”, and should just hang up their sex lives. I also heard plenty of “jokes” about Astroglide and KY for anal sex, usually as an affront to straight men’s sexuality and a slam toward gay and bi men. As far as male masturbation was concerned, if hand lotion was good for hands, it was also good for hand jobs.
That was up until the late 1990’s. Things and attitudes have changed since then. So have the number and types of personal lubricants on the market. Fifteen years later, I am now a lube enthusiast and believe that there’s no such thing as one all-purpose lube.
First of all, lube makes penetrative sex so much more enjoyable. It can take up to 20 minutes for a woman to get adequately lubricated, if at all, regardless of age. Who wants to wait that long? Think of sex as being like an amusement ride and lube as what makes the motors and rails whir, spin and race. For me, a dime-size drop of lube gives me an almost instant jump start to get my own juices flowing. I wish I never held out on using lube for sex all those years. What a difference!
Lube also protects skin and internal tissues from chafing and abrasions, which can lead to soreness or infections and the vaginal pain that sometimes comes along with sex. No one wants to sit out on the sidelines because of injuries.
Silicone lubes like Pink and Gun Oil usually hold out for the entire “ride” from foreplay to climax. They usually stay on the surface of the skin and mucous membranes without soaking in, allowing you and/or your partner to enjoy all forms of slippery sex play without having to reapply and cut into spontaneity.
However, the benefits of silicone lubes can be deterrents for some people. They require some soap and water clean up to get them off your skin and can leave stains on fabrics if they drip. They also can damage silicone and Cyberskin sex toys.
Personally, I prefer water-based lubes, and many quality water-based lubes perform on par with silicone lubes. I love Pink Water for sex and masturbating with my fingers because it feels like my own natural lubrication. It’s the only one I’ve ever tried that feels like that.
For women who have issues with vaginal dryness or dry skin, Pink Indulgence is a winner. It looks and feels like a cream. Since the weather has gotten cold enough to make my hands look and feel like dried out leather, I’ve been using it as a hand lotion. I don’t remember my hands looking and feeling so soft and silky. Honest! I’m calling this my accidental life hack of the decade.
By now you’re getting the picture how one lube isn’t an all-purpose lube. There’s a lot of variability between different brands and even different lubes made by the same company. Price usually doesn’t always make one lube better than others, but quality ingredients make all the difference in their specific and overall performances as well as keeping skin and tissue healthy. Since skin on the genitals is much thinner and delicate than on most other parts of the body. Sex and masturbation are far from delicate activities. You really have to take care of it. Some of those extras you want to look for on ingredient labels include aloe vera and Vitamin E, which are excellent for repairing and rejuvenating skin. Ginseng and guarana stimulate blood flow for heightened sensual sensations.
You’ve probably heard about hybrid lubes. They’re water-based with a touch of silicone just to keep them going for the long haul. I accidentally used Pink Unity on one of my silicone sex toys a few weeks ago. I just about went into a panic. I read the product information and even asked a guy who’s a project manager for a silicone medical device manufacturer. I was assured that my fairly expensive silicone toy would be okay since my hybrid lube contains more water than silicone. It appears to look okay, too.
What I have to say for sex toy lubes goes for anal lubes, and vice versa. Look for a gel-like water-based lube like Frolic or Gun Oil Gel. Since sex toys should be non-porous and aren’t absorbent like skin, gel-like lubes won’t drip all over the place. You also want lots of cush with the push for anal sex since the anal sphincter has no lubrication of its own as the case is with sex toys, condoms and fingers. Friction is neither sexy, safe nor pleasurable. I also like — no, make that LOVE — gel-like water-based lubes for vaginal sex and masturbation, too, because they feel so good.
Now when it comes to giving my sweetie a hand job, I hate the thought of putting cold lube on his warm shaft. That’s why I love warming lubes like Hot Pink. It’s amazing how a few little drops of warming lube give any kind of stroking a man prefer an additional pleasing sensation like being swaddled and caressed in a warm blanket. At least that’s how my lover describes it.
I know that I’ve thrown a lot of options and reasons to use lubes to consider. Don’t feel ashamed or awkward about heading out to your favorite sex toy shop to try out some tester bottles to find your favorites. A lot of sex toy shops and online retailers are happy to sell or give you a couple of sample packets to try at home. Sex toy shop employees and owners want you to try and buy – and come back for more.
I like to think of lubes as sex toys in a bottle. They are by no means an aid for women who are sexually lacking. Anything but. They’re for women and men who don’t just have sex; they have great sex!