Great Sex & Relationships

Over 50 Shades of Gray – What Makes Older Men Sexy

AGWDM over 50 shades of grayI’ve always been one of those people others seek to confide in, especially men.

As much as we see men as being strong and virile, they have their self-doubts, especially when it comes to their sexuality. When many of them hit 45-50 years old, they start doubting their attractiveness. They’ve gained weight or have gotten a bit jowly in the face. They’re going gray or are losing their hair. One male friend of mine was convinced that a woman would never want to have sex with him after he had open-heart surgery. “What woman would want to see that scar down the middle of my chest?” And when it comes to sexual performance, there are some who have resistance taking the little blue pill or using sexual enhancement products like penis pumps or cock rings.

Guess what, guys? Those things don’t even come on the list of things of things women find sexy in men over 50.

Photo of one of my favorite regular readers. He's 83.

Photo of one of my favorite regular readers. He’s 83.

Bonnie Gayle, 50, founder of Sex Butter – My man is 53. What I find sexy about a man over 50 is his confidence, that older men are usually better lovers because they are more focused on the woman’s pleasure, and they are not always rushing into lovemaking. I met my man a little over a year and a half ago and I found him to be extremely appreciative, upbeat, outgoing, charismatic, and comfortable in his skin. Because his energy was so uplifting I wasn’t so concerned with his individual features. In fact he was 60 pounds overweight at the time, which he has since lost and now feels even better about himself.

Elle Chase, 45, sex blogger and educator – There’s something quite special about a man of a certain age. There’s a quiet confidence that comes from an experienced life that is extremely sexy. I’ve always had a thing for older men and I’ve chalked it up to this — they know how to properly seduce a woman.

Erica Jagger, 52, sex blogger – Life experience.
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Joelle Casteel, 36, erotica/BDSM/romance author – Being self-assured and having just a bit of silver or grey within his hair and facial hair. I’ve always liked men older than myself. My master is 44.

Michele Schalin, 52, owner, Little Shop of O’s – Confidence is No. 1 and arrogance is turn off. There is a fine line between the two sometimes, but if a man can walk it well, it’s like catnip for me. If he is comfortable with who he is, intelligent with a quick wit I am totally hooked. If he is timid and uncomfortable in his skin, he’s just not attractive to me. I don’t have any particular look and he doesn’t need to be super fit. But he needs to take care of himself physically and like to do active things sometimes.

Pamela Madsen, a woman of a certain age, sexuality coach, author and blogger – I want a man who can hold a woman who does not hold her sexuality like a pocket book she doesn’t know where to put down. That takes a man, not a boy. And a man who can hold that women is usually over the age of 50.

Sandy Wright Riccardi, 49, tastefully raunchy singer-songwriter – He’s done with his mid-life crisis. He appreciates what he has instead of clawing for more like an infant. My husband is 71.

Seska Lee, 43, activist, sex educator, burlesque performer, producer, webmaster and writer – An established life, a quick wit, and healthy fit body. The reason I said healthy and fit is beyond aesthetics. I have lost older loved ones to cancer and heart disease.

Walker Thornton, 60, sex educator and blogger – Of course, there is no one thing that works for every woman but I think many of us want a man who is emotionally open, in and out of the bedroom. A man who is confident enough to talk about himself and wants a real partner, not a sex toy or conquest–whether it’s for the night or for the next few years. I am attracted to men who are comfortable with their life and their age, they aren’t hiding the gray hairs or trying to act younger. They exude confidence and know what they want–and they want the same for me. Gray hair is sexy. Being open to experimenting with sex in order to create find that ideal mix of intimacy and sexual pleasure for both of us is sexy.

Of course you know that you still want and desire sex. So do the women in your lives and the women who spoke out above. In fact, most of these women said that they preferred older men. And if you look at their credentials, they know what they’re talking about when it comes to sex and men.

As for me, ever since I became single again when I was 32, I’ve always preferred older men. I even dated a few in their 50’s when I was in my 30’s. They understand that sex involves the mind, emotion and soul. They’re not “me” –focused or “penis”-focused like younger men. I’ve often found them more attractive and more interesting to talk to than younger men. Most importantly, they generally know how to treat and respect women better than their younger counterparts.

Now isn’t that enough to reclaim your sexiness?

LSOS-banner-ad-240x400-9Couple (1)This post is brought to you by Little Shop of O’s. Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.