Great Sex & Relationships

Parents: Set a Date Night Once a Week

Back in the days when I was married with children my ex and I would have a date night once a week. It was something that he proposed and we faithfully kept in our calendars for a number of years.

Sure, you can wait until the kids go to sleep, but after a 15-plus-hour day of work, caring for the kids, cooking and cleaning, it’s unlikely that you’re in the optimal physical and mental condition to really enjoy yourself and each other. You can slip in a DVD and keep the kids occupied for half an hour for a quickie, but the two of you need quality time as a couple. But in order to really be connected and still be wild for each other, you need more than that.

For the longest time I found that one evening that we had with each other kept that same kind of giddiness and excitement that I had for my ex when we were dating and before we got entrenched in our roles of grownups and parents. It was something that I looked forward to for days. It was a great way to extend the courtship ritual. Too often people stop trying to impress their mates after they’ve snagged them. Date nights are a great way to find new ways to impress each other.

Here are some tips for a sexy date night … and you don’t have to be parents to try some of these dating tips either.

Free up Your Time Babysitters are expensive and can easily double the cost of your night out. Plus, you won’t get the privacy factor if the sitter has to come to your house to watch the kids. If you’re lucky enough to have relatives around, ship them off to Grandma and Grandpa’s or an indulgent aunt and uncle for the evening. If you don’t live near family, work out a babysitting swap arrangement with friends who have kids that are similar ages to your own offspring. It gets them out of the house, too, and gives your kids some playmates for an evening or a sleep-over, too.

Make it a Real Date If you’re strapped for cash, get out of the house, even if it’s just for a cup of coffee. Couples really need to get away on neutral ground to see and enjoy each other in a new light. Plus, it’s a way to explore something new and talk about like a new restaurant, a concert or a movie. And, of course, get dressed up. Don’t resort to the same old T-shirt and jeans or yoga pants because you’ve become accustomed to seeing each other at your absolute worst. Dress to impress your spouse date just like you did back in the old days. Make sure you wear your most impressive undergarments, too.

Make it a Really Sexy Date In addition to doing dinner and drinks – or ditching the dinner and drinks – go someplace really intimate like a hot tub spa, a couples massage, a nude beach or a drive-in movie. Also, there’s nothing quite like a night of hot hotel sex . If you’re really sexually curious or adventurous, go to a sex club or a swingers, fetish or BDSM “public party.” You don’t have to participate with others if you don’t want to.

If any of these ideas are a bit out of your budget, keep an eye open on deal of the day-type coupon or travel sites.

Stay In If you’re going to stay in, plan on making a special dinner together. Think lobsters, oysters or filet mignon. Since you’re not eating out, splurge on a nicer bottle of wine or liquor for your favorite cocktail. Ladies, cook in your lingerie … or nothing at all. If you’re not cooking, get some carry-out. Think bite-sized kinds of food that you don’t have to cut with a knife and is easy to feed your lover like Chinese or Thai food or sushi. Ditch the dining room or kitchen table for pillows, blankets and candlelight on the living room floor or in the bedroom.

Take Time to Explore, Indulge and Play Since you have the house to yourselves, think of ways of exploring your intimacy beyond the typical foreplay-to-sex routine. Indulge each other in a tantric massage. Play a game of sexy dice. Act out a scene that you read in an erotic story or saw in a porn video. Better yet, outline a story treatment and provide costumes … even if there are no video cameras involved.

Not only will these ideas keep you connected and craving for each other, but you’ll be refreshed when you return to your normal hectic life.