Toys in the Boudoir

Play Well with Others: Sex Toys in the Bedroom with Your Partner

AGWDM couple sex toySome people feel weird about using sex toys. The hang-ups are many – it’s weird to get intimate with an inanimate object, sex toys are only for the sexually freakish or promiscuous, if my partner wants to use a sex toy it’s because I’m not good enough.

It can get even weirder if a partner suggests using them in the bedroom.

Get over your awkwardness! Sex toys can bring a whole new level of fun, variety and communication in your sex life!

SST bulletFirst of all, there’s no such thing as getting too aroused, and things like having a woman wear a wireless remote control vibrator in the bedroom or out on a date can be a whole lot of mischief.

Even if you don’t need help getting or maintaining an erection or having your clitoris stimulated “the way nature intended”, vibrating cock rings can bring on a higher level of performance and excitement. Even something as simple as a disposable vibrating cock ring adds some extra “zing”. For under $6, it’s a great way to try something out for the first time to see if you like it. If it’s something you really like, you may want to invest in a cock ring that’s being marketed to Wall Street types. (Yep. According to the manufacturer’s market research, that’s who they’re aiming to please.)

STT senenity wandThere are some vibrators that are made for intercourse as well as solo play or vibrators that can be used together or if partners are thousands of miles away with the help of a smart phone app.

BDSM toys are incredibly popular and you don’t have to be a sadistic or masochistic type to enjoy them. Being bound with things like furry handcuffs or an under the bed restraint system are safe ways to force your lover to concentrate on his or her sensations and pleasure without the distraction of having to focus on pleasing his or her partner at the same time.

SST gray blindfoldTaking away the sense of sight with a blindfold will keep your partner guessing what you’re doing or using that’s bringing on some exciting – and not necessarily hurtful or dangerous – sensations. Sensation play is a great way to tell or ask your lover whether or how they like to be touched and pleased.

You don’t have to use things like paddles or floggers to inflict extreme pain, although a little pain can heighten sexual pleasure when used in the right measure. Some paddles have a soft side that have a very soothing feeling when stroked or rubbed against the skin.Floggers with suede strands can feel very relaxing when they’re dragged on the surface of the body or give an unexpected sting with a quick flip of the wrist.

Bringing up using sex toys in the bedroom can be awkward at first. If you have to, share articles (like this one) that explain how sex toys are used. Don’t be quick to say “no” if you’re not open to the idea. Explain why you’re not into an idea so your partner understands or don’t hesitate to think about it or do your own research before giving a final answer.

Here are some objections to sex toys that are absolutely false:

Relying on sex toys will lessen my ability to have orgasms on my own or cause physical damage. False. Some people need extra help in achieving orgasms and erections and lots of doctors and sex therapists recommend them. While some vibrators may leave a tingling sensation after they’re used, it will usually go away in about 10-20 minutes at the most.

If my partner wants to use a sex toy, it means that our relationship isn’t solid or I’m not enough for my partner. False. Sex toys are just plain fun and a way to break out of the same-old, same-old routine. Change can be threatening or scary for some, but you don’t know how fun something new can be until you try it.

I feel like I’m being replaced. False. Nothing can ever replace human interaction. Playing with sex toys as a couple requires interaction and communication.

Buying sex toys is awkward, especially with my partner. False. Buying sex toys with your partner can bring on a whole new level of communication. If you feel weird about shopping for sex toys in a store, don’t. They want you to spend money and anyone else in the store is there for the same reason as you. If you’re not sure what you want, read reviews and recommendations like this one and shop privately online at a site like Sexy Time Toys. Privacy and confidentiality are a must for companies like them to maintain a good business reputation and packaging is discreet. Your mail carrier or delivery person has no idea what’s inside, and it’s not like they have time to try to guess with the busy delivery schedules they have. Trust me. I get several deliveries a week and one of my regular delivery people is my ex-husband’s step-son. He has no clue of what he brings to my door. article is brought to you by Sexy Time Toys. Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.