Toys in the Boudoir

Review: Adam & Eve Magic Massager – Flattery is the Sincerest Form of Imitation

There’s a wand massager out there that’s more popular now than when it came out over 40 years ago. You all know what I’m talking about.

There are a lot of sex toy reviewers and bloggers that have jumped on the bandwagon of saying it’s the only wand massager that anyone should buy. Yeah, there are a lot of counterfeit products out there that claim to be the “original”, and that’s bad. But when it comes to a company that puts enough detail into it to make it wand massager look slightly different, brand it as its own, and does the same thing for a few bucks less, I’m not going to squabble about it. I’m sure a team of attorneys have already looked into the legal end of things.

That brings me to Adam & Eve’s Magic Massager.

It’s been several years since I’ve had the “original” in my hands and on my body parts, but the memories came flooding back at lightning speed, which I’m sure is about how fast things go on inside this 1½-pound stick of electric-powered wizardry. For those of you who can’t quite wrap their heads around only what they’ve heard about the “original” wand massager and Adam & Eve’s Magic massager, they both run on two speeds: 1. Blow you through the wall and 2. Blow you through the wall and send you clear into the next room. Using it on my clitoris and labia pretty much alleviates any stress and tightening in other parts of my body. Gotta love the Magic Massager for that.

Like the “original”, the Magic Massager has its drawbacks.

1. You have to plug it in. I’m not a mechanical engineer, but I have a hard time imagining that any size battery can work as hard enough the power the motor inside the Magic Massager. Maybe jet fuel. It’s most of the reason why it’s so damn heavy. It’ a worthy compromise. And if a 5 ½-inch electrical cord isn’t long enough for you, pick up a short extension cord at the dollar store. You’d have to buy one for the “original” if that’s an issue for you. But look at the bright side – you don’t have to scramble to find batteries or haul out a USB cord to juice it back up if it decides to peter out.

2. The flexible neck is pretty useless. I don’t know why it’s touted as a feature. I don’t know why they call it flexible. You have to apply superhero strength in order to bend it. It’s not like you need to. There’s 2 ½ inches of flat surface on the slightly convex head of the top of the massager, and you’re using it on parts of the body that don’t need to and shouldn’t be maligned by force. The “original” has the same useless feature.

3. I’m not a big fan of the textured foamy-soft rubber head. Since the Magic Massager is an electrical device, you don’t want to run it underwater to give it a good soapy scrub and rinse; use a damp cloth. It’s a concern of that other well-known brand-name wand, too. I tried putting a condom over it, but felt like I had a bigger mess cleaning up the greasy, slimy lube. On the flip side, there are several attachments that are made for the Magic Massager, including some really neat looking ones for men and anal sex, that the other wand doesn’t offer. I’m sure they can be used with it, too.

4. This sucker’s loud. Like jackhammer loud, but it made me moan and scream louder. It’s a fair trade-off as far as I’m concerned.

In my opinion, the Magic Massager and its famous counterpart are pretty much the same thing. It’s not like either wand is a complicated piece of equipment; just simple, powerful and well made. They’re both like a Mack truck barreling down the highway at 80 mph. The only exception is that the Magic Massager doesn’t come with a one-year warranty. I’ll have to see if it holds up at least that long. I know I’ll be using it a lot.

Buy, vibe, play, and have a good time.