Saucy Saturday Stories

Saucy Saturday Stories: Creative Adult Sex Ed & Putin Has His Head Up Your Ass

AGWDM lickthisappThere’s a new mobile website that’s giving phone sex a whole new meaning, Lick This App.

The mobile website (technically it’s not an app) lets people to challenge their oral sex skills on the screen by flipping a light switch, bouncing a ball, or cranking a pencil sharpener with their tongue.

I’ll admit that I tried it and failed. Apparently my tongue isn’t long enough for me to see what’s happening on the screen and lick it at the same time. Or maybe my tongue has too soft of a touch to get the app to work properly.

If the thought of licking your phone screen sounds goofy or icky, read more about Lick This App at Fast Company. If you’d rather read how to improve your oral sex skills, check out Female Oral Sex: What Your Wife or Girlfriend Probably Isn’t Telling You  or How to Give the Best Blow Job Ever on my blog.

I also came across a story, Here’s What Happens When You Ask A Bunch Of Adults To Label Male And Female Reproductive Systems, that has me convinced more than ever that we need to do a better job one of my personal sex blogger missions – providing better adult sex ed.

BuzzFeed staff writers Erin Chack and Adam Ellis asked a bunch of supposed grownups to label blank diagrams. I’m not sure if alcohol or 420 was involved in this exercise, and I’m still not sure if I should laugh or cringe over some of the results.

AGWDM reproductive system 3

I’m pretty sure this person is a guy who pissed his time away during the sex ed talk in the fifth grade and is still a virgin.  He has no clue about the difference between a woman’s reproductive system and her urinary tract. He’s just as clueless about the male urinary system. This guy really needs a cum to Jesus talk.

AGWDM reproductive system 2

Another assumed male virgin who probably couldn’t find a vagina with two hands and a flashlight and has never experienced a prostate massage. I’d be happy to lend him my lighter to light the labia menorah to burn the evidence of his failed quiz.

AGWDM reproductive system 1

Bonus points for coming up with the most creative reproductive system names. Negative points for misidentifying the baby brewer. I’d pay money to hear an explanation of how a uterus separates semen.

I’m thinking of asking Erin and Adam to urge their “students” to enroll in #AdultSexEdMonth in June.

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I think homosexual-hating Russian President Vladimir Putin is an ass, but I wouldn’t want his head up my ass.

AGWDM putin butt plugAccording to HuffPost Weird News, graphic designer Fernando Sosa is making quite the back door deal with the Putin butt plug.

Currently, the Putin butt plug is only available as a sandstone prototype (a tempting way to impale the Vlad) and is available at Shapeways . If you really want to put the Putin butt plug to practical use, you can pre-order a silicone Putin butt plug on Sosa’s website, Political Sculptor.

If you’re really into bad taste butt plugs, Sosa has also created a Phil Robertson butt plug. He’s also taking a reader poll to help him decide on his next ass play(er) creation – Hillary Clinton, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Rick Scott, Rush Limbaugh or John Boehner.

Of course I voted.

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