Adult Humor

Sex Toy Shop Confidential

I can’t remember how this conversation got started, but one of my Twitter pals, Diana, mentioned that she worked at a romance shop in Ohio and sometimes comes in contact with with some interesting customers.

Of course I wanted to hear about this and asked her if she wanted to share some of her stories on my blog.

I had to assume that she had some pretty outrageous customers, and Diana says that dancers top the list.

“Sometimes those girls leave the store and I think to myself, ‘My God, if men knew the trash they were throwing their money at! Maybeline really is magical!’” Diana says.”I have had dancers come in with a stage set hours away and they are there to piece together outfits. A few of them have literally stunk up the store. I mean how do you not shower if your job is to flaunt what your mama gave you? Yuk! Some are missing teeth and one has a problem getting her pasties off so she just wears them for a week at a time. Beware what you are putting in your mouth, boys!

I also wondered if she ever had a problem with men who acted inappropriately toward her in the store. I kind of wasn’t surprised that she didn’t. Bothersome men are pretty rare for me as a sex blogger, too, but there are always a few who are just immature or sexually awkward but otherwise harmless. She has one of those guys, too.

“I have one little creeper,” Diana says. “A young kid, maybe 23. This guy always pulls into the parking lot like a bat out of hell so I know its him immediately. He tends to come in on Sundays. He comes in to buy one condom each time. He will look me up and down the whole time and he always tells me of his aspirations to be a porn star. He has even asked if I think he has what it takes LOL! I told him it’s way easier for a guy to break into the business than for women. I mean look at Ron Jeremy. Apparently all a guy needs is a decent sized penis.”

I was curious to know how she dealt with people who were really shy and embarrassed about shopping in a sex toy shop. I think we’ve all had that awkward first-time experience. I certainly did. Diana says that she had a recent experience with one first-time shopper whose experience was life-changing.

“I had a girl come in on a Thursday night a few weeks back,” Diana says. “It was her first time in a store of this nature. I sent her home with just a simple purchase of a grab bag. The grab bag could contain anything out of the store but will always have at least a DVD, a toy, and some type of lingerie item. This gives a nice variety of everything. So off she went to explore.

“Saturday evening she comes strolling in again. I said, ‘Hi! How did you like your welcome package?’ She said she loved it and wanted to explore some more items. She ends up spending about another hour in the store. She comes to the counter with some goodies. I send her on the way with some fun items to help her learning experience.

“Sunday rolls around and low and behold, she comes walking back in. I said, ‘Well look at you girl! Three days ago you had never stepped foot into such a store and now I cant keep you away! It took me just a matter of days to turn you out!’ She begins browsing through the store and then approaches me in a coy way. I looked at her and asked if she had any questions on the products that I could help her with. She said, ‘Actually, I wanted to tell you that this morning I woke up and decided to become a webcam girl.’ I was so incredibly intrigued at this moment. I said,’Really? Tell me more! How did you decide this?’ She simply said that she woke up that morning, stuffed some towels under the bedroom door so that her family couldn’t hear, and fired up the laptop. Who does that? So now I sit and wait for her to come back because I am dying to know more about this new career choice of hers.”

Like they say, it’s the shy ones you have to look out for.