Sharing TMI – Why I Do it & Why I Think it’s Important

AGWDM sharing TMIEven though I write under a pen name, everything I write and share about sex and my personal sex life comes from the authentic me.

Part of it is the urge to share stories that are all about, “Wow! I had this awesome experience and I just can’t keep it to myself,” but there are other reasons why I share what some people would consider TMI.

‘That’s Me, Too!’
Most people don’t have a realistic baseline of how they feel sexually. Even I’ve asked myself, especially when I had my sexual awakening almost 20 years ago, questions like:

Is it normal for a woman to be constantly horny or have really intense sexual fantasies?

Do I have unrealistic expectations of what I should expect in a relationship?” (I wondered about this often before Parrot and I reconnected 3½ years ago.)

Is it silly for me to think that I’m this hot and horny at 45, 46 years old? Do men think it’s silly or pathetic for a woman to be a sexual fireball at my age?” (Again, this was pre-Parrot.)

Because People Gossip & Pass Judgment
These are the kinds of personal thoughts and details most people don’t share with their friends or even their partners. We don’t share these thoughts details and questions because they make others feel awkward and uncomfortable. Hell, thoughts and questions like these make many people feel awkward and uncomfortable about themselves. We fear topics like these will be fodder for gossip or will bring unkind judgment upon ourselves. It’s a huge risk to take because people, including myself, have been judged or gossiped about for revealing much less or even assumptions that people make about ourselves. Unfortunately, that’s why I write under a pen name, not just for personal reasons, but for professional reasons, as well. I can’t afford to compromise my ability to make a living. However, I believe being honest, frank and open about my sexuality gives people an idea of what is not necessarily what is normal, but what is human.

The Media Sensationalizes Sex
I’m not saying that there’s a shortage of stories or talk show topics that delve into sexuality, but the perspective is very different when it comes from a distant or objective third person point of view. Often, when these topics come up in mainstream media, they sound like theories. They don’t often resonate with people on personal levels. A lot of times, they’re stories about sex in the media are meant to be provocative for the point of creating a freak show or a scandal. I think it’s important to let people know that sex is not a freak show or a scandal and not all sex is porn. It’s a hell of a lot of fun, especially when we break the rules of what’s considered proper and polite adult behavior. It can even be a deeply non-religious spiritual or transcendental experience. We really need to change these conversations.

Sex Shaming in Our Society
We’re conditioned to feel shameful about sex before we’re even aware of our sexuality or even know what sex is. Even those of us who weren’t raised in strict religious families or communities had been bombarded with messages and terms like “dirty old man” or “loose woman” or that words like “penis” and “vagina” are bad words. I hope that being absolutely shameless about revealing my sexual side gives people inspiration and courage to do the same themselves.

Everyone Has a Turn-On
I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who doesn’t have a turn-on. It doesn’t even have to be something kinky, but I believe we all have at least one specific trigger that gets us sexually aroused. If we didn’t, our species would have been extinct thousands of years ago. Personally, I don’t believe in the procreation theories. Ever since I stopped having or wanting kids after I gave birth to two, my sex drive didn’t go away. If anything, it’s increased. It’s just a part of who I am and how I think, and I’m perfectly okay with that. Not everyone is. I hope what I share serves as a social barometer of sorts.

We Get Lousy Relationship Education
Aside from getting lousy sex ed in school, kids really have to wing it when they’re figuring out how to date and have relationships during their relationship and sexuality developmental years in their teens. Even as adults, most people have very little understanding of how the opposite sex thinks about sex. How often have we or heard someone say, “I just don’t understand men (or women)”? This is a big reason why I share TMI. I can’t speak for men, but at least I can share what I think or how I feel. I hope that I’m able to give men some valuable insights.

All of Us Should Have Great Sex
I think the world would be a happier place if everyone knew how to have great sex and relationships. Having a great relationship and sex life reflects in my attitude, especially when I wake up on a Monday morning with a shit-eating grin on my face. For some people, it’s all about knowing, “I’m normal, I’m okay because I know someone else who feels and thinks the same way I do.” For other people, it’s all about getting a clue or two. I just hope that I can set an example by sharing my TMI.

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About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

6 Comments on Sharing TMI – Why I Do it & Why I Think it’s Important

  1. > “Is it normal for a woman to be constantly horny or have really intense sexual fantasies?”

    Now if the question were asked “is it normal for a man…”
    I expect that most people might consider it normal, even if they then went on to make comments about “dirty old men”. So come on this 2015, aren’t we supposed to have some degree of equality. No one in their right mind these days would argue that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote, work, do what ever else they want, why should sex be any different. If it’s good for the gander then it should be good for the goose too.
    Sadly I get the impression that it is often women who say that say it isn’t normal for “for a woman to be constantly horny or have really intense sexual fantasies”.
    IMHO men who can’t cope with women who feel like that are insecure about themselves, could I cope, would I be enough, would she …
    I get the sense that women are often trying to conform to what they see as social norms. Life would be so much better if society allowed people to just be themselves.

    > “We Get Lousy Relationship Education”
    Do schools really give any at all?
    I was given some rudimentary sex ed at school. For our previous exchanges it seems that even that was better than a lot of US based kids are getting today. But I don’t remember any relationship eduction at all. Well at least not from the teachers. There was the little bit about growing up and getting married and that this was supposed to happen before the sex bit, but that was it. Other than that we were left to observe the world we see around us. How do our parents interact. If you were lucky enough to grow up in a loving caring home then maybe you got a good example, if you grew up in a broken home where your parents were often at war and/or the father has sodded off, what chance do you have?
    Personal relationships are really difficult, it would be great if some guidance was given. But too often when it is, it’s too prescriptive and unrealistic. If you spend your life telling people DON’T HAVE SEX, they’ll soon start wondering why and what’s all the fuss about and pretty soon rebel.

  2. Great post, Bobbie! I also find personal blogs more relatable than straight journalism or resource-style pieces. Plus, pushing boundaries is part of being creative. Rock on, sexy lady!

    • Bobbie Morgan // November 7, 2015 at 10:55 am // Reply

      Thanks!

      I can’t say enough how we can never learn about our sexual selves if we keep ourselves in a bubble.

      And you keep rockin’ on, too! What you do is awesome!

  3. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! (And no, I’m not having an orgasm, lol.)

    I overshare for many of the same reasons. A lot of Judgy McJudgersons say things like, “If you wouldn’t tell your family something, you shouldn’t post it for others to read.” Give me a break! I’m exploring my own sexuality, sharing what works (and doesn’t), and talking about the slightly darker side of sex. No, I shouldn’t be expected to share all those details with my family. Sharing TMI benefits more than just ourselves. The human condition is shared through stories – personal, real-life accounts. This is no different. :)

    • Bobbie Morgan // November 7, 2015 at 10:52 am // Reply

      “If you wouldn’t tell your family something, you shouldn’t post it for others to read.”

      Really???

      I share a number of things in the appropriate venues and with the appropriate people. My family doesn’t have to know everything about me.

  4. Amen, Being able to find someone who you can share with is blessing in itself. Except with family though…

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