Silly & Crazy Sex Laws

Are you violating any of these silly, crazy and insane sex laws?

Alabama

It’s illegal to purchase sex toys.

Incestuous marriages are legal.

It’s against the law for a man to seduce “a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage.”

If a woman loses a game of pool in Anniston, it is illegal for her to settle her tab with sex.

Men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, in Auburn may face up to five years in jail.

Women may not wear a “lewd dress” in public in Mobile.

Arizona

According to the Arizona Supreme Court, female breasts aren’t considered private parts under state law.

Any single person, man or woman, caught having sex can be sent to the penitentiary for three full years.

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

A man can be incarcerated for from one to 10 years for causing his wife to be a prostitute.

In Cottonwood, couples having sex in a vehicle with flat wheels will be fined. The fine will be doubled if the sex occurs in the backseat.

Arkansas

Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.

A man can also get 10 years in prison for placing his spouse in a brothel.

California

In Bakersfield, anyone having intercourse with Satan must use a condom.

Colorado

Keeping a house where unmarried people are allowed to have sex is prohibited in Alamosa.

It’s against the law to make love while bathing in any lake, river or stream in Cattle Creek.

In Logan County, it’s illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

Connecticut

It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

State law forbids any kind of “private sexual behavior between consenting adults.” The law makes absolutely no distinction between married and single couples.

District of Columbia

Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal.

A man can be incarcerated for from one to 10 years for causing his wife to be a prostitute.

Florida

Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal.

Unmarried couples may not commit lewd acts and live together in the same residence.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

A man may not kiss his wife’s breasts.

Oral sex is illegal and can carry up to a 20-year prison sentence.

People may not appear in public clothed in liquid latex in Satellite Beach.

Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron in Tampa.

Women may not expose their breasts while performing topless dancing in Tampa.

Georgia

All sex toys are banned.

The term “sadomasochistic abuse” is defined so broadly, that it could possibly be applied to a person handcuffing another in a clown suit.

Erotic dancing is prohibited on Sundays in Roswell.

Idaho

In Coeur d’Alene, police officers aren’t allowed to walk up and knock on the window if they believe people are having sex in a car. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

Illinois

State law mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

In Crete. it’s considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one’s dog.

It’s punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day in Oblong.

Indiana

Oral sex is illegal.

It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.

It’s against the law to entice, allure, instigate or help a person under 21 to masturbate. This activity is known in legal circles as an act of “self-pollution.”

Iowa

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

In Ames, men aren’t allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with a woman or holding her in his arms.

A man may not wink at any woman he does not know in Ottumwa.

Kansas

Anal sex can draw a maximum sentence of six months in jail.

In Wichita, one can be sent to jail for up to a year for making lewd comments over the telephone.

Kentucky

One may not receive anal sex in Owensborg.

Louisiana

Streaking with the “intent of arousing sexual desire” brings a violator a $100 fine and one year in prison.

Condoms may not be thrown from parade floats during Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Saying obscene things on the telephone is illegal in Sulphur.

It’s also illegal to have sex with a cow in Sulphur.

Maine

A man can get 20 years in prison for placing his spouse in a brothel.

In Buckfield, taxi drivers aren’t allowed to charge a fare to any passenger who gives him sexual favors in return for a ride home from a nightclub or other establishment which serves alcoholic beverages or any place of business that sells liquor.

Maryland

It’s illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.”

Anal sex can result in a one- to 10-year prison term

Massachusetts

You cannot recklessly consummate your love with a rodeo clown while the horses are still around.

A woman cannot be on top in sexual activities.

Michigan

Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.

No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.

A man can get 20 years in prison for placing his spouse in a brothel.

A man can get five years in prison engaging “in acts of gross indecency, either in public or private.” This includes mutual masturbation by two men or the simple act of solitary masturbation.

Single guys and gals caught in the act of sex can be fined as much as $5,000 and can be sentenced to as many as five years in prison.

In Detroit, couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property.

Minnesota

It’s illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish.

Oral sex is prohibited.

It’s illegal to sleep naked.

In Alexandria, no man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

Mississippi

It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

A man may not seduce a woman by lying and claiming he will marry her.

Adultery or fornication results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.

Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.

It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.

S & M is against the law. Specifically, “The depiction or description of flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or in undergarments or in a bizarre or revealing costume for the purpose of sexual gratification.”

Missouri

It is illegal to have oral sex.

It’s a high misdemeanor for a man to force his wife to sell sexual services on the streets.

Wearing a corset is illegal in Merryville because “the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male.”

Montana

It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.

In Bozeman, it’s illegal for members of the opposite sex for members of the opposite sex to engage in sexual behavior in the front yard of a home after sundown if they’re nude.

In Helena, a woman can’t dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she’s wearing at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

Nebraska

People with gonorrhea may not marry.

Buggery, or anal copulation, can lead to 20 years in prison.

In Hastings, hotels are required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude and they can’t have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

Nevada

It is illegal for any member of the state legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.

The use of condoms in brothels is compulsory.

Sex toys are outlawed in Reno.

New Jersey

Mutual masturbation can carry a three-year prison sentence.

In Liberty Corner, if a car horn accidentally sounds while a couple is frolicking behind the wheel, they can face a jail term.

New Mexico

Nudity is allowed provided that male genitals are covered.

Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered.

State officials ordered 400 words of “sexually explicit material” to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

Oral sex is punishable by a $5,000 fine and a two- to 10-year sentence

In Carlsbad, it’s legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

New York

Adultery is a crime.

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

It’s illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing.”

In Staten Island, it’s illegal for a father to call his son a “faggot” or “queer” in an effort to curb “girlie behavior.”

North Carolina

While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.

If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel or a motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.

All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.

It’s illegal to have sex in a churchyard.

It’s illegal for a man to peep through a window at a woman, yet it’s not against the law for a woman to peep into a room occupied by a man or for a man to peep at another man.

Oral sex is considered a crime against nature.

Ohio

No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person.

Anal intercourse is banned in Cincinnati.

Women aren’t allowed to wear patent leather shoes in Cleveland so men won’t see a reflection of something they shouldn’t

In Oxford, it’s illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.

Oklahoma

It’s illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.

It’s illegal to have sex before you are married.

Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punishable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.

Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.

It’s statutory rape for a man over 18 to have sex with a female under the age of 18, provided she’s a virgin.

In Clinton, it’s illegal for men to masturbate while observing a couple making love in the back seat of a parked car in a drive-in theater.

Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel in Schulter.

Oregon

An adult may not show a minor any piece of classical artwork that depicts sexual excitement.

It’s illegal to whisper dirty things in your lover’s ear during sex.

It’s against the law for animals to have sex within the city limits of Stanfield.

It’s against the law for a husband to curse during sex in Willowdale.

Pennsylvania

Anal sex can bring transgressors a $5,000 fine and 10 years of hard labor.

Allentown has a law forbidding men to become aroused in public.

In Harrisburg, female toll collectors are prohibited from engaging in sex with truck driver in the confines of a toll booth.

Rhode Island

It’s unlawful for unmarried people to partake in bedroom activities under any circumstances. If caught, the lovers are both fined $10.

State law considers oral sex a “abominable, detestable crime against nature,” and can result in a seven-to-10-year stretch in the penitentiary.

It’s illegal to wear transparent clothing in Providence.

South Carolina

It is illegal to give or receive oral sex.

Anal sex carries $500 fine and can result in five years in prison

Sexually oriented businesses may not open for business on Sundays in Clemson.

South Dakota

Laws on the state books call for a 10-year prison term for “copulation by means of mouth.”

Prostitutes are still prohibited from plying their trade out of a covered wagon.

In Sioux Falls, every hotel room is required to have twin beds. The beds must be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. It’s also illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.

Tennessee

More than eight women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.

Students may not hold hands while at school.

Giving and receiving oral sex is prohibited by law.

It’s illegal for a woman to call a man for a date in Dyersburg.

Men may not be sexually aroused in public in Nashville.

Texas

Single adults who are apprehended while having sex are charged with a misdemeanor and given a $500 fine.

It’s a misdemeanor if two men engage in oral and or anal sex. The same law doesn’t apply to men and women engaging in the same activity with each other.

No one other than a registered pharmacist may sell condoms or other kinds of contraceptives “on the streets or other public places.” Anyone who tries to make a few extra bucks doing this will be severely prosecuted for the dire act of “unlawfully practicing medicine.”

It’s illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing in Abilene.

It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos in Dallas.

Appearing in public places wearing a “lewd dress” is prohibited in El Paso.

It’s illegal for both sexes to flirt or respond to flirtation using the eyes and/or hands in San Antonio.

Utah

Oral sex is a misdemeanor.

No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.

Sex with an animal — unless performed for profit — is not considered sodomy and therefore is legal.

In Tremonton, women may not have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and her name is to be published in the local newspaper. The man isn’t charged nor is his name revealed.

Vermont

In Beanville, it’s against the law in for a road map to be printed and sold or given away if it contains advertising of a “lewd or lascivious nature.” The ban specifically includes ads for massage parlors and hot tubs, as both are believed to be of a “sensual bent.”

Virginia

If one is not married, it is illegal for him or her to have sexual relations.

You may not have oral or anal sex.

A woman can’t go out without wearing a corset in Norfolk.

No one may have sex while riding in the sidecar of a motorcycle in Norfolk.

It’s illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on in Romboch.

Washington

It’s against the law to have sex with a virgin under any circumstances, including the wedding night.

In Spokane County, strippers may not come closer than four feet to any customer.

West Virginia

It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 pounds.

Wisconsin

It’s illegal to kiss on a train.

In Connorsville, it’s against the law for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.

Kenosha forbids men to be in a state of arousal in public.

Wyoming

It’s against the law to entice, allure, instigate or help a person under 21 to masturbate.

A city ordinance in Newcastle specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store’s walk-in meat freezer.

 
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About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

1 Comment on Silly & Crazy Sex Laws

  1. JACQUELINE FERGUSON // March 24, 2013 at 4:54 pm // Reply

    INCREDIBLE AND VERY INTERESTING!

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