Some Fifty Shades-Inspired Gear That Don’t Add Up

AGWDM sportsheets FSOG inspired postYesterday, Kinkly published a story, Kink Goes Glam, that I wrote about some of the Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired lingerie, sensual care items and bondage gear that are hitting store shelves and websites now and into the next coming months. I also ran a companion post featuring photos of some of the items mentioned in the Kinkly story. Some of Sportsheets’ new products were featured in the stories and their people were kind enough to send me some of its soft/romantic and higher end BDSM gear and paraphernalia.

Satin and Lace Lover’s Kit

The Satin and Lace Lover’s Kit is designed for those who get off on romantic or damsel in distress play. It’ a three-piece set of black lace padded blindfold and cuffs with satiny backings and ties. I received the red set. It also comes in pink.

I’m all for pretty, delicate and romantic, but I just wasn’t feeling it with this set. The lace overlay just was kind of cheap looking. The pieces were just had a straight vertical cut on the ends. A little rounding on the corners would have given them a more finished, feminine touch.

I would have liked more of the padding on the blindfold and the cuffs. I like how the satiny ties pull through a button hole on the cuffs and wrap around the wrists to secure them for a custom fit, but the ribbon ties could have been wider for a more proportional look and better functionality on a couple of levels. Thin ribbon isn’t suited for resistance, even light resistance that just comes from moving around. I could feel the ribbon dig into my skin. Plus, thin ribbon is a bitch to untie, especially with resistance play. Thanks to the satiny fabric, I was able to slip my wrists out of the cuffs and then spend a few minutes untying the tightly knotted mess of ribbon. The same thing happened with the blindfold, which I was ready to slip off my head rather easily,

AGWDM black lace restraint

The fit on the blindfold was nice. I liked how it fully blocked out any peripheral view on the sides. It looked gorgeous when it was on, but I could see a bit of light out of the bottom of it. It wasn’t enough for me to see what would be going on if I was scening, but it didn’t provide total blackout.

Sex & Mischief Trilogy

Sex & Mischief Trilogy is a set items of the Fifty Shades book covers — a masquerade mask, grey tie and a set of metal handcuffs, all in a black fine mesh drawstring gift/storage bag.

The silver fabric trim around the mask is pretty, but the decorative gold glitter design on the mask looks random and sloppy. Plus the dark gold color of the mask doesn’t complement a lot of skin tones and hair color. It might be best for honey blondes or fading blondes turning silver. Honestly, I think the color looks like metallic infant poop. I’m also not a fan of thin ribbon ties for face masks. A black elastic band would fit much more securely with no slip.

Once I got the mask on, it was comfortable but it looked too big. All I could think of when I had it on was alien sex mask. I sent a picture of myself in it to Parrot. I thought he would laugh at it and me, but he said he liked it. Go figure.

AGWDM sportsheets mask

The silver grey men’s tie is back in demand this season for wearing and impromptu bondage play and one is included in this set. (It’s also sold separately.) It’s 100% polyester and cheap looking. It doesn’t tie or lay well. In my opinion, it’s almost impossible to get the same sheen and weave for a textured pattern in a polyester tie that you get in a silk tie. There’s nothing billionaire businessman looking about it. Nothing ruins a men’s suit ensemble or a nice dress shirt worse than a cheap tie. If you’re looking for a silver gray tie that can be worn out and played with later, I recommend picking one up on sale at a store like Macy’s.

AGWDM sportsheets trilogy tie

There’s also a set of metal handcuffs in this kit. They’re thin and made of a cheap metal and hurt like a motherfucker whenever my wrists moved around in them. The only good thing I can say about them is that the push-down lever on the cuffs make them easy to open and secure. If you really want to play with cuffs, get a furry or padded set that protect the wrists from getting red marks and cuts and are comfortable and sensuous to wear.

AGWDM cuffs

Edge 6-Point Hog Tie

Sportsheets recently released its Edge bondage line. It’s nice to see a popular brand come out with good quality leather bondage products. Sportsheets sent me the 6-Point Hog Tie from this line.

AGWDM hog tie

The hog tie connector is some pretty heavy duty stuff, maybe a little too heavy and oversized. The extra weight could cause some unnecessary body strain while being immobile. At least the clasps are secure and are easy and quick to release. The leather bands are thick, strong and sturdy but stiff.

I hate to give a pass on all of these items. There are better offerings out there, including other blindfolds and cuffs that Sportsheets carries.

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About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

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