Subtle Signs a Woman Gives if She’s Not Interested in You

AGWDM Subtle Signs a Woman Gives if She’s Not Interested in YouSo you’ve started some dialog with a woman who’s looking for a sex partner on a sex dating site like Sex Personals Australia ( or Sex Personals Adelaide ( You’ve messaged each other or chatted a few times on the site, talked on a phone, or met in person. Things seem to be going well, but you’re not quite sure. It’s hard to tell when your mind is wrapped up in thoughts of “She’s just the kind of wildcat I would love to have in bed” or “I’m so fucking horny, I can hardly stand it!”

However, there’s a big difference between “polite friendly” and “interested friendly”. Just because a woman is talking to you, doesn’t mean she’s interested.

How can you tell the difference?

She’s not in a big hurry to return messages, texts and phone calls. Who isn’t attached to their smart phone and at least looks at it the moment a message comes in? If it takes someone 24 hours or more to get back to you, don’t waste your time.

She doesn’t initiate messages, texts and phone calls. Are you the one who’s always initiating text messages and phone calls? That’s a sure sign that she’s not likely to initiate sex … probably ever.

Her text messages and responses are short and curt. Someone who’s interested in you is going to say more and be more enthusiastic than giving “yes”, “no” or one or two-word answers. They’ll usually ramble on from one topic to the next and want to talk forever.

She doesn’t ask questions about you. Someone who’s interested in you is going to ask questions about you because they’re curious about and interested in you.

She hasn’t said “yes” to meeting or hooking up with you. Even if she was really nice about saying, “Sorry, I’m busy,” did she offer another day or time to see you? If you gave her another time you were available, did she say “no” to that, too? If you had to ask twice and she hasn’t given you another time she’s available, move on. Someone who’s interested in you will find a way to say, “Yes.”

She doesn’t maintain eye contact with you or appears to be distracted when she’s talking to you in person.

She shifts her body away from you when she’s talking to you in person. People who are sexually interested in someone will naturally lean closer, whether they slide themselves or their seat closer to you if they’re sitting next to you or move in closer or lean toward you if they are standing or sitting in front of you.

If a woman isn’t interested in you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she thinks you’re a jerk, weirdo or fatally flawed. She may think you’re a nice guy but that elusive sexually chemistry probably just isn’t there for her. In most cases when a woman isn’t interested in a guy, she doesn’t see a point in being rude or a bitch. She just hopes that a guy will pick up on her cues and whatever dialog started will just drift away and dissipate.

That’s why I recommend speeding things up when getting to know someone in online dating. Even though you’re probably not looking to make a deep emotional connection with someone you see as a possible hookup partner or fuck buddy, rejection can be a real ego crusher. The quicker you take steps to get to know someone, the less of a chance you have of being frustrated or disappointed if things don’t go as planned and the quicker you can move on to finding a compatible sex partner without getting a sour attitude.

My last piece of advice: if you’re really ambivalent about what you think she thinks of you, be direct with your charm and seduction. If her response is something like, “Gee … I’d love to … Maybe … I don’t know,” and she says those things with a smile, keep working at it. It’s probably not a game. The reality of getting into something daring, covert or naughty might be more than she bargained for in a good scary way. Remember that seduction isn’t forcing someone to do something that they don’t want to do but encouraging someone to do something they secretly want to do.

If the seduction move fails and she gives you a definitive “no”, let her go. Don’t beg, plead or try to prove that you’re the man for her. Those moves usually backfire.

For more hints to decipher and understand when a woman isn’t interested in you, read Ten Things Adelaide Women Say to Block a Second Date ( in Sex Personals Adelaide.

This post is brought to you by Sex Personals Australia ( and Sex Personals Adelaide ( Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.

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About Bobbie Morgan (1247 Articles)
Bobbie Morgan is the beditor-in-chief of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind. When she's not blogging or having the best sex ever, she's putting out writing and social media services for adult businesses. Use the contact link to reach her by email.

4 Comments on Subtle Signs a Woman Gives if She’s Not Interested in You

  1. This is all very true. I actually have this sort of thing going on with a guy who is interested. I don’t answer texts right away, my responses are short but polite and I don’t initiate contact. Maybe I should be more direct and up front but girls think that guys should realize from actions such as these that she is not interested in them in that way, and we don’t want to be rude or hurt their feelings.

    Also, you are right. There is nothing wrong with this guy at all. He is attractive, nice, funny. There just is no chemistry there. Thinking about it, it’s strange that it could be for one person and not the other.

    • I do have to say this about your comment (and please don’t take offense)–men would rather have you be direct and up front, instead of keeping them hanging. I don’t even bother asking women out since they can never give a straight answer. Men are tired of having to read between the lines and play the mind games. Just tell us–yes, or no? Don’t waste our time, and don’t worry about our feelings. Granted, some sissy-men can’t handle it, but most others will appreciate your honesty.

      • Bobbie Morgan // August 7, 2015 at 7:27 pm // Reply

        I’ve always been direct about telling a guy I’m not interested in seeing him, even if it takes me a day or two to do it. When I’ve had to do this in the past, I should have been more immediately up front, but the men I’ve turned down in the past have not been very confident or are very emotionally needy. I’ve always been polite, kind and considerate yet firm and final when I’ve turned guys down. I always hated dealing with the pleading and begging that can go on for days in email, voice mail, etc. … and these are guys I had only been out with once or twice. I can’t speak for all women, but I think that’s why some women can be very evasive and not very direct.

    • Bobbie Morgan // August 7, 2015 at 7:36 pm // Reply

      Sometimes, it’s hard for men (and women) to see that someone isn’t interested in them when they’re so totally over the moon about someone. I had been in that situation a few times myself. I had always assumed their ambivalence had to do with not really knowing who I am and what I’m all about. I eventually got the hint after a week or two, but it would have been nice if these guys were up front with me.

      The last time I was getting mixed signals from a guy, I asked him out. He politely turned me down. I was not offended at all and moved on immediately.

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