1. From erotica to sex blogs everyone seems to be having intense orgasms. Do you feel like you are experiencing the same intense orgasmic waves everyone talks about?
My intense orgasms are exactly that … mine. I was born that way and I have a lover who really knows what he’s doing. However, I didn’t always have intense orgasms. When I was younger, I didn’t know how to let me mind and inhibitions go and my ex, while he was well-endowed, didn’t know what to do with the gift he was born with. However, I do believe that almost everyone can achieve orgasms or have better ones (read: Orgasms Part 3: Are There Ways to Have Orgasms or Make Them Better?).
2. At the beginning of our sexual lives, we are often let down because it feels like nothing in comparison to what we see in films and magazines. Sexual pleasure is something you learn more about as you get older. How have you learned to cultivate the pleasure that you feel?
Enjoying sex is a learning process. You have to learn about yourself, the person you’re with, and how you are as a couple. Reading about sex from credible sources (Check out my blogroll and the Adult Sex Ed Month Stories by Topic page on my site) is a big help. It also helps that my lover and I have a judgment-free zone when it comes to conversation whether we talk about sex or anything else.
3. In the last 3 years, has your sexual pleasure:
b. stayed the same
c. increased, enhanced, improved
4. If you are feeling much more sexual pleasure than your lover do you feel the need to make up the deficit or just live in the moment and enjoy what has been given to you?
Sometimes that happens, not with the man I’m with now, but in the past. Sometimes it’s just the mind, body or mood that gets in the way. Pleasing my lover is half the fun of sex regardless of the outcome and there’s nothing wrong or guilty about enjoying the moment I’m in. He’s enjoying it, too.
5. How important is it to you for you and your lover to have simultaneous orgasms?
a. not important – never thought about it
b. somewhat important – I think it would be nice to explode at the same time
c. important – that is what I ‘work’ for, cumming at the same time makes everything more intense–my orgasm, my feelings, the entire experience.
A. It’s something I don’t think about. The idea of a simultaneous orgasm is never a goal. If he happens to orgasm a bit after me, I consider it a double bonus. It’s exciting to be able to focus on his pleasure. It’s a magical thing to see and experience when my focus is on him.
Bonus: Do you think that having an orgasm is the same as sexual pleasure? Why or why not?
People have to stop thinking of orgasms as the end-all and be-all of sex. Sex should be about the journey and not just the destination.
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