Adult Sex Ed

When You Need a Good Touch More Than a Good Fuck

AGWDM touch 400The sexiness of touch doesn’t get as much praise as it should.

I’ve always loved feeling the warmth, touch and presence of a man’s skin during sex and even sleeping in the nude. I was never consciously aware of it until Parrot and I got back together after not seeing each other for 16 years.

Don’t get me wrong – the sex was great, the orgasms were out of this world, but the way he touched me was magical. It was in the way his hands and fingers wandered all over my body, and not just the way he handled my breasts and pussy. I felt relaxed, comforted, pampered, turned on, transcendent, aroused and even sexier and more confident about myself and my body all at the same time. I felt all of those things at the same time. . It was the most beautiful way I had ever physically connected with any man. It was the highest level of bliss I had ever experienced.

Parrot had learned some tricks about sensual touch from a woman who could probably be considered a master of the art, Juliet Anderson, AKA Aunt Peg from the golden age of porn. He had seen an ad for a workshop she was teaching on sensate focusing in an ad in a local alternative newspaper about 20 years ago. He calls the class “a life-changing experience.”

I don’t know exactly what he was told or learned during this class, but the simplest way I can describe the way he touches me is in the way he lets his fingertips drag and float across all parts of body. It’s as if they pay attention to every curve, nook and cranny of my skin and the form of my body. It’s very basic and very easy to follow along. When the both of us do this together, it’s the touch equivalent to listening to some of the most beautiful musical duos – Django Reinhardt and Stephane Grappelli, Simon and Garfunkel, Tuck and Patti. There’s no sense of “hurry up and let’s get down to fucking”, although there’s a time, place and mood for that. Spending time and indulging in touch with no goals or no timelines is all about harmony and two people communicating as one.

I won’t discount the pleasures of sensation play whether it’s with warm or cold things, rope, sharp objects (or things that feel sharp). And most times, our lingering caresses usually lead to some high-powered penetration. But the feeling of flesh-to-flesh touch with another person is perhaps the most erotic sensation of all.