Great Sex & Relationships

Why Porn Videos Disturb Me

I realize that it must sound shocking for a sex blogger to say that porn videos disturb me.

I’ve watched porn in the past, mostly with former lovers. There have been times I’ve laughed at it for the poor production values and bad acting and lip synching. The money shots don’t do anything for me. I just don’t need it to get in the mood or to get any ideas. Quite frankly, the sex I have with my lover beats anything I’ve seen on screen. Well, maybe except for one home video clip we did.

Despite the number of women who watch porn, I’m not one of them. Most porn videos are made for men and some of those videos don’t disturb me.

But there are a lot that do.

First of all, a lot of porn videos project that the image of good sex involves some very young chick who willingly opens her legs for a man. It doesn’t matter who she is, just as long as she takes it in any orifice, or in multiple orifices at the same time, and is enthusiastic about it.

Guys, let’s face it. The only thing a chick is enthusiastic about is making more in an hour or two that she could make in a whole week of waiting tables or working at a desk job. Even then, the enthusiasm isn’t all that convincing, at least to me.

What disturbs me even more are some of the truly degrading scenes I’ve seen in which women are disrespected or are verbally or physically abused. That’s not to say that is disturbs me to hear my lover say, “I want to fuck you like a dirty slut.” I know the context, I know the head space he and both of us are in, and I know that when all is all said and done, there’s tenderness, he treats me more than well, and that he loves me.

I don’t see those things in those kinds of dynamics in porn videos, and what disturbs me most are the men who not only get off on those kinds of scenes, but expect them in their sex lives. Realistically, is this the way to treat any woman … especially women who truly enjoy sex?

I get that there are only so many variations of sex that one can depict in a 15- or 30-minute video and that there will always be a clamoring for something new and even more over the top than the last video, but why the trend in increasing degradation?

I’m not saying we should put an end to porn, but I’d love to see more porn with sex-positive images and messages, particularly in the way women are treated and depicted. As far as I’m concerned, the more crappy porn that’s out there, the tougher time we’ll have creating happier and healthier sex lives and attitudes we have about sex in our society.

And, yeah, let’s do something about the poor acting and video production values, too.