Adult Humor

A Writer for Cosmo Wants to Know Why People Don’t Take it Seriously

AGWDM cosmo cover spoofJill Filipovic, senior political writer for Cosmopolitan, wrote an article on the magazine’s website: Why Are Women’s Publications Still Ridiculed?

Jill, have you ever looked at the top headlines on the front page of Cosmo’s website?

14 Things Men Think Fifty Shades is About
Man shaming? How immature. If someone asked me what WWE wrestling is about, I’d sound like an idiot, too.

Bold Beauty Secrets
An advertorial paid for and written by Revlon that shamelessly hawks its products.

12 Flawless Ice Cream Cakes
Isn’t that why there’s Pinterest?

Proof Justin Bieber and Mark Wahlberg are the Same
The Biebs? Wahlberg? The same? Really? Bwahahahaha! Was this story idea pitched at an editorial meeting with straight faces?

10 Totally Inspiring Workout Tips
Working out with a friend is good for you. And more fun. #Nobrainer That’s a tip? That’s inspiring? Did someone get paid to write that cut and paste that from Twitter?

Jill, I take it that you’re an otherwise intelligent and serious woman. Your bio says that you’re a non-practicing lawyer, frequent speaker, and an on-air commentator on gender, political and legal issues. Perhaps you should take a look at the stories that I mentioned to understand why Cosmo isn’t the first place I would go to read about things that affect women’s lives that are toward the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs like the Life at Conception Act (personhood bills).

Regarding your praise for Ada Calhoun’s article about personhood bills, I think she did an adequate job of explaining what they are in a Women’s Rights for Dummies kind of way. There’s nothing wrong with that. Not everyone pays attention to political issues in the news. I’m sure that article was the first exposure to that topic for a lot of Cosmo readers. I think it’s something they should be aware of in a rudimentary way. I’m also quite certain that it’s the first and last time Cosmo will cover that topic.

The issue isn’t with all women’s magazines; just Cosmo. Have you ever bothered to see how Cosmo’s competition deals with topics like that? They write the shit out of this stuff on a regular basis. And they write about them intelligently, too

The Frisky: South Carolina Advances Anti-Abortion Bill, Colorado Is Considering “Fetal Personhood” Bill To Ban Abortion

XOJane: Why You Should Give a Crap About Mississippi’s Initiative 26, Is Virginia’s Proposed Abortion Ultrasound Requirement Really State-Sanctioned Rape?

Cosmo’s competition is carrying on the mission that Helen Gurley Brown set out to accomplish when she took over as editor-in-chief at Cosmo almost 50 years ago. Somewhere along the way, Cosmo lost that mission. Maybe it started when Ms. Brown left Cosmo in 1987. Maybe it’s because Cosmo hasn’t kept up with the evolution of what it means to be a 20-35 year-old woman. Maybe it’s because editors are being told what kinds of stories to run based on keywords. It’s the only reason I can think of why Cosmo ran this story on Friday: 26 Photos of Cute Kitties in Costumes.

And let’s take a look at what Cosmo is best known for – sex tips.

Cook dinner topless. Apply a little tomato sauce to your nipple and ask your man to lick it off.

Stay silent as you approach orgasm. The way your face scrunches up says more than words.

Give him a beer facial. The combination of egg white and the yeast and the hops hydrates and improves skin elasticity. You can tell him that your lips can’t resist his delicious beer-flavored face.

Rent a horror movie and watch it while you have sex. If they hear screams … meaning the neighbors … they’ll think it’s the movie.

Ask him what songs he listened to in junior high and play them during a hookup. It will take him back to that time when he was almost in a permanent state of horniness.

AGWDM ana steeleWho writes this stuff? Twenty-one year-old virgins straight out of college?

Jill, I applaud your enthusiasm for Cosmo’s attempt to write serious articles that affect women, especially in the political arena. Frankly, I think there are other publications you could hitch your wagon to as a senior political writer.