Relationship Ramblings

Friends with Benefits: The Rules

A few weeks ago I came across some very wise advice from Dan Savage (when doesn’t he give wise advice?) in his Savage Love column from Oct. 9. It’s been stuck on my mind ever since I read it and the only way I could think of unsticking it was to share it.

What ground rules should be set for a friends-with-benefits situation?

The most important ground rule: Be friends. Too many people are pointedly unfriendly to their FWBs because they don’t want their FWBs “getting the wrong idea,” i.e., they don’t want their FWBs to think they might be interested in something more serious. The result? FWB situations that are all B and no F. No friendly gestures (friends sometimes give each other gifts), no friendly assistance (friends sometimes help each other move), no friendly concern (friends are there for each other). Don’t want your FWB to get the wrong idea? Use your words to tell your FWB that a serious romance isn’t in the cards. Then be a friend to your FWB.