Adult Sex Ed

How to be the Master of the Clitoris

The two main ways women can orgasm are by the G-spot and the clitoris. For the sake of keeping things focused, let’s talk about the clitoris.

Finding the Clitoris
The size, appearance of the clitoris is different for every woman. For the most part, it usually looks like a fleshy pebble that gets hard during sexual arousal. Sometimes, you can’t see or feel the clitoris until a woman is sexually aroused. So before you hone in on the clit, get her going – seduce her, caress or massage her body and breasts, or softly play or caress her labia. Any one or more of these techniques will bring the clitoris out to play!

A Light Touch is the Best Touch
A light touch is the best touch, at least at first. Flick the tip of your tongue on or around her clitoris. Lightly move your fingertip on or around her clitoris. Lube helps if you’re using your fingers. The slick sensation of lube feels awesome and will usually help get her wet. Start with a gentle setting on a vibrator or a vibrator that doesn’t feel like a grinder.

A note about vibrators: I know a lot of guys are threatened by vibrators. Don’t be! Vibrators are not intended to be a replacement for a man or his penis, and she really prefers having you in bed with her! Vibrators provide a much different sensation that will send those thousands of nerve endings into a wild frenzy. Just give it a try. You’ll love the way she’ll spin into a frenzy!

Change Things Up
Think of fingering, licking or using a vibrator on her clit the same way you enjoy a hand job or a blow job. Change things up every once in a while. Circle your tongue around the clit. Tease the clit by lapping on the folds of her inner labia. Be spontaneous. If there’s something that she really likes, stick with it. If you pay attention to how she sways, shimmies, moans or tells you how she likes it, you’ll know that you’re the Master of the Clitoris!

When to go Full Throttle
If you have a woman who knows what she likes and is comfortable with letting her inner beast out, believe me, she’ll tell you. She might tell you to rub harder (again, use lube) or get merciless with a vibrator.

The Clit and Penetration
There are some positions that are great for clitoral stimulation during penetration. Rear entry or doggy style is a great way to allow you or her to rub her clit.

Vibrating cock rings are a great hands-free way to stimulate her clit while your penis is penetrating her as far as it will go in. The Deep Stick is one of the best ways to make mound/vibrator-to-clit contact if you’re using a vibrating cock ring. (This is our favorite position for so many reasons, both for me and my partner.)

The Approach
Don’t view playing with her clit as an obligatory thing as a means to an end, i.e. thrusting your dick inside of her. The more you pleasure her this way, the more likely she’s going to be when she’s ready for a good fuck. I promise you that she will be and penetration will be off the charts, even if she comes wildly while you’re playing with her clit. If she needs a breather after she comes through clit play, she can usually get it back up again through other ways. Often times, an orgasm can energize a woman instead of making her feel like she’s done for.

By all means, don’t ask her if she’s ready to fuck. This is an automatic mood killer. If you don’t know, she’ll feel like you’re not paying attention to her or think that you’re just in this for yourself.

Most importantly, be patient. Some women get aroused immediately. Some women need as much as 20 minutes. Even the same woman may need varying amounts of time to be clit- and penetration-ready.