Sex Dating Tips

How to Have a Sex Partner Without Making It Personal

AGWDM not personalFor whatever reasons or circumstances you’re not up for traditional dating or a long-term relationship but just want a good lay, you’re not the only one. There are others who want the same on sex dating sites like Sex Personals Melbourne ( and Sex Personals Sydney (

But in our culture where sex is equated to love and romance, it’s easy to get mixed messages, especially if a good romp in the sack leaves you feeling happy and euphoric for days. That’s why it’s so important you must come clean about not making things personal before you get down and dirty.

State Up Front What You Want
This should be the first thing you disclose to a potential casual sex partner. It will save yourself from talking with someone who has something different in mind. It usually helps to say why just to make yourself clear. You don’t have to go into great detail. A sentence or two should do. This is something that should be in your sex dating site profile.

Don’t Suggest That Your Hookup Could Lead to Something More
Even if you’re open to developing a long-term relationship with someone if things work out well, don’t mention this before you hook up with someone. It could lead to hurt feelings, a bunch of text messages or voice mails you don’t want to answer, or worse, malicious retribution if you decide you want to move on. If things mutually turn out to be something more than you intended, it’s much easier to renegotiate plans to go forward than to have “that talk” that can sour a good memory.

Never Lead Anyone on with False Promises of Happily Ever After if All You Want is Just One Happy-Go-Lucky Fuck
Pursuing a low self-esteem target is a total douchebag move. Actually, it shows a lack of confidence in your belief that you can get someone in bed. Maybe you can live with being a conniving, sweet-talking turd, but it’s a fake conquest. It’s like cheating at cards or sports. Plus, there’s always a chance you could run into that person you screwed over in another time or place. You could get fucked again, and not in a good way. If this happens to you and expect sympathy from anyone, don’t. You brought this on yourself by making your casual sex encounter personal in the very worst way.

Keep Your Liaison Between Yourselves
It’s okay to say that you have someone else in your life if that’s the case, but don’t go into detail. Don’t mention names or the minutia of your relationship. The less your potential FWB knows about “the other person” and vice versa, the better you’ll connect with each other on just a sexual level. (Note: Lying about your relationship status is not cool. At all. It violates informed consent.)

Don’t Bring Your Baggage Into a Short-Term Fling
Travel light, my friends. Bringing your emotional and relationship baggage into a casual sex arrangement can get messy, probably more for you than for your fuck buddy. The point of hooking up with someone is supposed to be fun. It doesn’t make you a sexy or appealing prospective sex partner, either.

Avoid Deep Conversations
When people talk about soulmates, it’s because they’ve discovered several deep emotional connections or shared values. If all you want is a fuck buddy, keep your conversations limited to small talk. Keeping your conversations light doesn’t mean that you’re an uncaring or shallow person. Just think of all the other people you get along with well in your life – professional colleagues, the barista at the coffee shop, your postal carrier – who don’t know your most intimate thoughts and private details of your life. I’m sure they think you’re a great guy or gal, too.

Being Secretive is Usually Preferred Anyway
One of the top sexual fantasies for women is having sex with a stranger. Aside from the information you must share to have safer and consensual sex, the less you know about each other is best.

For more sex dating success tips, check out Guys: 9 Words You Shouldn’t Say During a First Date ( at Sex Personals Melbourne.

This post is brought to you by Sex Personals Melbourne ( and Sex Personals Sydney ( Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.