Adult Sex Ed

Listening to Your Lover, Even When He or She is Not Saying a Word

AGWDM Listening to Your Lover Even When He or She is Not Saying a WordI can’t even begin to count the thousands of words I’ve written about how to have great sex. I will fully admit the only thing that makes me closely qualified to dispensing advice on this topic is having the best sex of my life with a lover who knows what he’s doing and makes it all possible.

With only having 49 hours with each other this past weekend, I hung onto every minute I had with Parrot, especially when we were naked and having sex. Yes, there were some mind-blowing and body-blasting orgasms involved, but with those orgasms and arousal came something I don’t see a lot of people mention when they write talk about having great sex – being keyed into the physical and physiological transformations your lover goes through. I think it’s as powerful and enjoyable as genital foreplay or penetrative sex.

Parrot and I aren’t exactly touchy-feely kind of people in public or when we’re not having sex, but once we get naked, our foreplay starts off with lots of full body contact and touching. I swear, parts of the body I’ve never considered erogenous zones really fuel passion, desire and arousal. He even has a way of touching parts of my body I usually don’t feel good about or try to camouflage with clothing that totally turns me on. It makes me feel good. Damn good. I feel sexy. There’s nothing needy, wimpy or blah-blah vanilla about craving and enjoying touching or being touched. Hell, even sleeping naked with Parrot is a sensual experience. I find that I sleep so much better when he’s in bed with me. It’s a much more relaxing, restful and rejuvenating kind of sleep.

When I’m stroking him or giving him oral pleasure, I get so fricking turned on by the changes in his breathing and the sounds, moans and cries that come out of his mouth. I’ve had lovers in the past who have muted themselves because they’ve said they’re afraid of sounding like an idiot. Bad move, guys. Let out those involuntary sounds. They tell a lover a lot about what to do more of or do harder, faster, slower or softer. If you as a partner pay attention to these sounds and know how to decipher them, they make sex so much better without saying a word or having to give verbal directions that might make your partner feel like they’re failing.

I love feeling the way Parrot’s body changes and transforms as he’s building up toward orgasm. Even though I’m always aware of these changes, every time I feel this metamorphosis, it’s like something magical. It totally does away with the need to ask, “Was it good for you?”

There’s a lot to learn about having great sex without your partner saying a word. A lot of it has to do with listening to his or her non-verbal cues.