Ask the Sexpert

Ms. Q & A: How Can He Hang on to His High School Sweetheart?

Dear Ms. Q,

My girlfriend and I just graduated from high school. She’s going to a state college, but it’s too far from our hometown where I’m going to school to see each other often. She said she will try to see me as often as possible, but won’t be able to do it often. Between school and work, it’s going to be very difficult.

The worst part is that we’re both nymphos. I’m afraid she’s not going to be able to go that long without sex. She is extremely attractive and I’m scared that she’ll forget about me and sleep with one of the many guys that will hit on her.

How do I keep her mind on me for the long periods of time we’re apart, and how do we keep the relationship as good as it was this summer when she was here?

Freddy the Freshman

Dear Froshy,

I have a feeling that you will go the distance to keep her mind on you … phone, text, Skype
However, keep in mind that you probably have less than a 50% chance of holding it together beyond the end of the first semester, and it will unlikely have anything to do with you not being good looking, romantic or sexy enough for her.

First of all, college is exhausting. I remember feeling that I wasn’t prepared enough for what homework would be like my first semester of college. Between school, working part time, and going out 2-3 nights a week, by the time I got to the end of the semester, all I wanted to do was vegetate.

Secondly, people change a lot when they go to college, especially in the first semester. Between the change of scenery and lifestyle, a brand-new social life, and being away from parents and family, people find their true and most ideal selves.

And, yes, there’s a very good chance that either you or she will meet someone on campus who you see often. There’s also a chance that either one of you may want the freedom to hook up with someone when it’s convenient. (Just be responsible if the latter is the case.)

Plus, long-distance relationships aren’t for everyone. I’m in one myself, but our life situations are very different, and we’re both have a lot more confidence in ourselves and in each other than the 18-year-old versions of ourselves.

Lastly, and I don’t want to rain on your parade, but if she’s already telling you that she will try to see you as often as possible but won’t be able to do it often, it sounds as if she’s crafting a subtle exit strategy. It could be because she’s being sensible (she’s serious about her studies or she knows it will be difficult to be homework-free on weekends). She could be doubtful that the college years can sustain a happily-ever-after. Maybe she wants to make sure that she enjoys the college experience. If any of those reasons turn out to be the case, don’t take offense.

However, I know several people who went through college and then married their high school sweethearts. Almost all of them are still happily married after 20-some years.

Best of luck to you, both in your love life and school.

Ms. Q

Got a question for me? Email me at msquote2(at)hotmail(dot)com.