Great Sex & Relationships

No, My Name’s not Hester Prynne

AGWDM no my name's not hester prynneSince I published my post on Loving a Married Man, I knew that I was taking a big risk on making that big reveal or not making it sooner.

Actually, I was quite taken with the many supportive comments that I received. But I also got some feedback from some people who were quick to pin a scarlet “A” on me.

I don’t mean to sound defensive. I take responsibility for what I do. I own it. All I have to say is this…

We don’t always fall in love with people who come in perfect packaging, but what’s in that package can be such an incredible gift.

What’s all this pressure on men to take the big step to move in with a woman, propose with a big ring, and throw an elaborate wedding in order to prove their love to a woman? Sounds like claim, stake and ownership to me. Isn’t that something that two people should mutually want? What he does for me and what we do for each other goes way beyond conspicuous symbolism.

Falling in love is a risk. I’m tired of people telling me that I’m foolish because he’ll never leave his wife for me. I know that and I’m perfectly okay with that. It’s funny that no one has said that I could very well leave Parrot for a single man who lives closer. He’s aware of that risk. But over the past several years, even before he and I reunited, I haven’t met a man who has won me over in that way, let alone seriously tried.

I did not take Parrot away from his wife; she left the door open. No one has the right to hold sex and intimacy of marriage hostage and expect and demand that their partner be celibately faithful. That’s just unreasonable. (For the record, they had that conversation.)

If Parrot’s wife decides that she wants to give of herself sexually and intimately in their marriage, I will gladly step aside. I love him enough to want him to have a happy and fulfilling marriage. I have told him this and he’s fully aware.

Fair question: “If he lies to his wife, don’t you think he lies to you?”
My answer: In over 3½ years, that hasn’t happened. Also, if she actually paid attention to him or took an interest in the things he does, she would have figured out that something wasn’t right a long time ago.

Frankly, I don’t get why Parrot’s wife doesn’t find him sexy, romantic and downright charming. I think most women would do anything to have a man like him, let alone want the kind of sex we have.

It is not my purpose in life to please and win the respect of people I don’t know. If I do that, great; I’m gratified and appreciative. If you don’t like what you read and who I am, stop reading and don’t come back to tell me how I need to change my ways to make you happy.

Who is Hester Prynne? It’s never too late to read The Scarlet Letter. I read it the first time in an American Literature class in college. The instructor who taught the class focused his syllabus on the puritanical myth. It was a life changing book and class.