Saucy Saturday Stories

Saucy Saturday Stories: Sex Scandal Gets ‘Cranked’ Up, Hide Your Sex Toys & More About the Grapefruit Lady

MLive Jordan HaskinsMichigan Political Sex Scandal Gets ‘Cranked’ Up

One with a criminal record of a sexual nature would think twice before running for an elected office in the first place. Even if a candidate puts his conviction behind him, opponents and the press won’t. It’s always a “for sure” thing they won’t.

According to MLive, Jordan Haskins is unofficially pulling out of the race to run for Michigan’s 95th District House of Representatives race.

Haskins made his announcement after The Saginaw News revealed his conviction for cranking – pulling out spark plug wires from public vehicles and trying to start the engines by masturbating with the wires.

MLive says the 24-year-old lone Republican candidate in the race didn’t get busted for cranking once, but several times in his late teens and early 20’s.

Because Haskins didn’t withdraw before April 25, his name will still appear on the Aug. 5 primary ballot.

Hide Your … Umm … Guns

What do guns and sex toys have in common? Pretty much nothing, but a group called Evolve has attempted to say there is in its mission to say, “It’s the right to bear arms, not be a dumbass.”

On a professional PR level, the group pretty much fails to get its point about gun safety across in the video, Evolve – Playthings. On the other hand, the video provides a hilarious and entertaining reminder for parents to take due diligence and discretion about keeping sex toys out of the hands of their offspring.

More About the Grapefruit Lady

In Saucy Saturday Stories a few weeks ago, I featured a video of Auntie Angel’s grapefruit blow job technique. If you haven’t seen the video, you must be living under a rock. Even if you have seen it, it’s worth seeing again.

So who is Auntie Angel? Vice found out. She’s a whole bag of interesting and then some. The 43-year-old nail technician. has taught sex tips to approximately 50,000 people over the past 10 years. She teaches 50 different blow job techniques, including one called the Death Techniques that involves running a vibrator along a man’s perineum while giving head. She claims that many men have died from it from massive heart attacks mid-blow job. (I didn’t learn this technique from Auntie Angel, but I’ve done this to Parrot a few times. He loves it.)

Auntie Angel and her manager are also being considered for a segment on Sex Sent Me to the ER. She won’t say what landed them there. I suppose we’ll have to wait to find out.

Read more about Auntie Angel here.