Saucy Saturday Stories

Saucy Saturday Stories: Why We Need Adult Sex Ed – The Good, the Bad & the Funny

AGWDM most adultsYou’ve probably seen me talking about #AdultSexEdMonth (coming in June) quite a lot lately. It’s because I don’t want to hear people saying, “I wish I knew about this earlier!” on June 30.

One of the reasons why I’m so passionate about sharing good and credible adult sex ed information is because it’s hard to find. But it’s out there, and sex bloggers provide some of the best information that’s out there. Another reason why is because adult sex ed so desperately needed.

The Bad

As an example, I searched “ importance of the clitoris” (with no quotation marks) on Google.

Heaven forbid a sexually curious person should do this.

The first result I got was from a “creative web design” site ; not exactly the place I’d go for expert adult sex ed information.

The third search result was from Yahoo Answers, which is basically a forum for people too stupid to use Yahoo’s search engine to find the answers to their questions. Answers tend to be from equally unenlightened people.

AGWDM Yahoo what is a clitoris

I'm guessing that this kid was rather disappointed to learn how hard it was to understand the mysterious clit that his mother didn't want him to find online.

I’m guessing that this kid was rather disappointed to learn how hard it was to understand the mysterious clit that his mother didn’t want him to find online.

So why is frank, honest and open adult sex ed information so hard to find? Because society doesn’t want their 12-year-olds finding it on their smartphones and tablets.

Yet Google thinks it has solved the problem.

AGWDM sex ed with a twist Pinterest clit photoThe Good (and some Bad)

I recently found the best explanation of the importance of the clitoris without even looking for it. I found it while perusing Laska – Sex Ed with a Twist’s Sex Education & Information board on Pinterest. When I found the photo posted on the right, it brought me to this article: The Clitoris: Why It Is Important To Stimulate.

The article was written by Lisa Lawless, a psychotherapist and sexuality expert, on her company’s website. Her company, Holistic Wisdom, sells non-toxic sex toys, lubes and lotions. The company’s only social media connection is on Pinterest, which is not the first place I would look for adult sex ed information. It’s too bad because Holistic Wisdom’s site has a ton of really good articles about non-toxic sex toy reviews, relationships, sex techniques, holistic sex, and sex and nutrition.

Ironically, the woman whose board where I found that gem of a story, is no slouch when it comes to sex education and social media. She’s a pro about both. I’m happy to let you know that she’ll be sharing some of what she knows during #AdultSexEdMonthh. You can follow her on Twitter at @SexEdwithATwist.

The Funny

Once again, BuzzFeed finds its comedic muse in sexual illiteracy in one of its latest videos: Men Explain the Vagina.

Take the vagina discussion out of the picture and these guys look like your typical young professionals. They present themselves well, are reasonably attractive, and are pretty funny, even if unintentionally. They don’t look like the types that dropped out of school in the fifth grade before they got their first sex ed lesson in school. Or maybe they were home sick that day. Or maybe their parents pulled them out of the sex ed class, hoping that if their sons didn’t get sex ed that they wouldn’t be “indoctrinated” in wanting to have sex.

Leave it to my favorite cultural omnivore, William Quincy Belle, to riff on the guys in the video in one of his latest posts, BuzzFeed: Men Explain the Vagina.

Seriously? How do we guys manage to have sex? I am sure any woman is going to watch this video and roll her eyes. We men are such doofuses. We know jack shit about women, sex, and life in general and yet we carry on like the cock of the walk totally ignorant of our own short-comings. We are ignorant of our ignorance. Geesh, it’s surprising the human race hasn’t died off. Ha, ha. The Conservatives are right: abstinence-only sex education works. We can’t get it in the right hole.

Of course Mr. Belle is joking. Well, maybe partially so.

AGWDM cosmo 44 ways to fuck like an idiotSo Bad it’s Funny

Once again the ladies at Jezebel and I are ripping on Cosmo, which has been dispensing some really lame, if not horrible, sex advice for over 40 years.

Recently, C.A. Pinkham ripped on some of Cosmo’s recent advice in her article, Cosmopolitan’s Most Batshit Insane Food-Related Sex Tips.

Blindfold your guy or send him into another room. Suck on the sour candy for a few seconds before running it over five unexpected hot spots on your body—like behind your knees, on your left nipple, near your collarbone. Then he has to use his sense of taste to find those areas. If he gets all five right, pass him a Warhead and ask him to challenge you.

Slip a doughnut around his penis, and slowly eat it off.

Give him a beer facial – the combination of the egg white and the yeast in the hops hydrates and improves skin elasticity… but you can just tell him that your lips can’t resist his delicious, beer-flavored face.

Have any of the ladies that write for Cosmo ever had sex? Do they actually test any of their “ways to drive a man wild in bed” tips? It seems to me that they’re better at coming up with ways to drive a man away.

One couple apparently wondered the same thing and tested and documented some of these tasteless sex tips in We Tested All of Cosmo’s Insane Food-Focused Sex Tips. They rated the tips in several areas on the following scale:

0 — I think I’d rather fuck a cactus.
1 — Could you hurry up? There’s laundry to do.
2 — Well, my genitals aren’t exactly unhappy about this experience.
3 — Starting to move the needle, and by needle, I mean my man/ladybusiness.
4 — All aboard the SS HappyFunPantsTimes!

Needless to say, most of the tips had this couple looking for a cactus or a laundry basket.

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