Relationship Ramblings

Sex & Honesty

AGWDM sex honestyI received the most valued compliment from one of my Twitter followers the other day. He called me and my blog “honest”.

Even before I started this blog, Parrot and I would often tell ourselves, “If anyone ever knew what great sex we have, they’d never believe us.”

In a secret way, we love to brag. What we have and share is that brag-worthy and something we wish others can have. The world would be a much happier place if everyone had the kind of sex we have. That’s why I share so much about so much about us.

The foundation of what we have and share is built on honesty. It’s the foundation of great sex and relationships whether they’re marriages that have lasted decades or casual sex or casual relationships.

I can already hear people thinking, “You’re taking the fun out of sex by taking this honesty stuff too seriously.” Trust me, a few minutes of seriousness can lead to hours, days, weeks, months and even years of great sex.

• Great sex can only happen if both partners are able to open their minds and bodies. That takes a lot of honesty with yourself and your partner.

• Honesty means telling your partner what you like and what turns you on. You only short change yourself and possibly your partner if you keep those things to yourself.

• Honesty means telling your partner what you don’t like, but give reasons. Don’t just say “No” and shut down. Doing that is an honesty killer.

• Honesty requires being non-judgmental. Being judgmental only keeps your partner from being honest with you.

• Be honest about where you like to see your relationship go or not go, even if your relationship is just a one-night stand. If you can’t be honest, your partner can’t fully consent. Consent is mandatory, ethically and legally.

• Be honest about your sexual health, sexual history, partners and relationships, past and present. Sex is an adult activity. Be an adult.

• Honesty fosters trust and trust is earned. Always. It’s never an entitlement or an automatic given from another person. The longer honesty and trust is built, the better sex gets.

• If you can’t be honest with your sex partner, don’t get angry or upset if he or she reacts maliciously. I don’t advocate this kind of behavior, but you only bring this shit on yourself.

Can honesty be a scary thing? It can be. If you can get physically naked with someone, you have the adult responsibility to be emotionally and ethically naked – or in other words, honest.

Now that I’m done being a serious grownup, go forth and have fun and great sex!