Great Sex & Relationships

Tool Time: The Fuck Saw

Last week I was having a discussion with a couple of ladies on Twitter about my post, Why is Gushing/Female Ejaculation Such a Mystery?, with everyone pitching in with their knowledge and experiences of how and why it happens. We were all pretty much in agreement that it takes quite a bit of force rubbing the G-spot, and even then it doesn’t always happen.

Then one of the women said something along the lines of, “Oh, I can top that story.”

“OK, I’m listening,” I thought to myself, as if I wasn’t already.

She started talking about a sex tour of Chicago that she went on. During the tour there was a discussion led by one of the tour guides, Sunny Megatron, of a toy that she gained some notoriety demonstrating in a class at Northwestern University, the Fuck Saw, a retrofitted reciprocating saw with a dildo attachment. She said that Ms. Megatron had shown a video demonstration of how it worked and how Ms. Megatron had gushed all over the place.

Of course I had to go looking for this video to see how this worked and if the tales of gushing like Niagara Falls were true. This one isn’t of Ms. Megatron, and it’s sure nothing like any kind of tool you’d see Tim Allen demonstrating on Home Improvement or Norm Abram showing how to use on The New Yankee Workshop. (Could you just hear the sponsor credits at the end of that episode? “This program is brought to you by KY Jelly, the number 36, and the letter D.”)

Personally, I’d be very leery about the amount of fluid that would come in contact with a power tool like that or what kind of force 2,500 strokes per minute could do to a vagina, or as a poster in the How To forum on the Literotica discussion boards put it, “That thing could literally rip you a new asshole!”

Another poster on Literotica said, “I work in a hospital and have seen a couple vibrator mishaps. This thing scares the crap out of me!”

The Fuck Saw didn’t just scare the bejeezus out of the women, but out of the men, too.

“I like to think of myself as pretty open to new things,” one man said. “I’ve seen this before and I cringe every time I see it again. I fucking love power tools. I fucking love sex toys. I really don’t think there’s a whole lot of room for cross-breeding them. It’s not for me but, I guess if that’s your kink, more power to you.”

Power? That’s an understatement.

As much as my curiosity was piqued, I concur. Besides, gushing is quite the experience to share with a lover.