Great Sex & Relationships

We’re not Old; We’re Better

AGWDM we're not old we're betterI wrote this post a few days before I posted it because I’m taking some time away from work to spend with Parrot. I can assure you that I will not be thinking about work, my blog or anything I do with a laptop, email or social media. Because great romance and great sex take precedence.

But I’ve had this gripe that’s been gnawing at me like and orgy of termites feasting at an all-you-can-eat buffet at a lumber yard. So has Parrot. He’s been wanting to write a blog about this, but he’s been wrapped up in so many other projects that I think are pretty damn awesome.

So I decided to write it myself.

I’m sick and tired of people who freak out when they hear about people 50 years old and older having and enjoying sex.

I’ve made a room full of people go silent when I mentioned that I’m 50 and Parrot is 70 and we’re having some of the best sex of our lives. Someone once referred to us as “elderly”. (I don’t think of my parents who are in their 70’s as elderly. My 97-year-old grandmother – yes, she’s elderly.) We were sensationalized as a 70-year-old couple in No. 5 of this article in Mashable — Naked with cranberry sauce: 20 things I can’t unsee from NYC’s Porn Film Fest. (At least the Millennial who wrote the article was kind enough to say, “They live a more exciting and fulfilling life than I ever will.”)

Guess what, kids. People get old. You will, too. It will happen sooner than you think. Because time flies when you’re having fun.

Is sex something you’ll want to give up 20, 30, 40 or 50 years from now?

Actually, being 50, 60, 70 or 80 years old isn’t old. You’re not old until you tell yourself and believe you’re old. When I hear someone refer themselves as “old”, it’s usually a cop-out, an excuse not to do something, or a way to guilt others into indulging them in an entitlement, special treatment, or a discount.

Do you believe that the longer and more often you do something, especially if it’s something you really enjoy, that you get better at it? Why would you stop doing something that’s fun and something that you’re good at doing?

When are we going to stop congratulating people for having a great sex life (or looking attractive or still running, biking, skydiving or just getting out of bed) once they hit 50?

And this kind of ageism and age-shaming doesn’t just take place with people in their teens, 20’s and 30’s. I hear this kind of crap from people in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and older, too.

Why do people assume that every man over 45 years old needs to take boner pills in order to get and maintain an erection?

And if men takes boner pills in order to get an erection, why do we label them as sexually deficient and make jokes about them?

And when are we going to stop calling men who hit their golden years who still enjoy and talk about sex “dirty old men”?

Why do we assume that lube is only for women that hit menopause? You kids might want to try using it and see how much more fun, comfortable and enjoyable sex can be! (Oddly, none of the OB/GYNs I saw in my 20’s, 30’s or 40’s ever suggested this to me.)

Why do we believe when women hit menopause that it’s time for them to stop having sex because they’re “all dried up”? (This especially goes for menopausal and post-menopausal women that have bought into this belief.)

I hate bringing up my age in this post or any time I write or talk about sex. I have no shame in my age. I don’t think of myself as being “an age”. I just hate making it an issue or a cause. But if that’s what it takes to get these points across, then so be it.