Relationship Ramblings

What Great Sex is Really All About

I’m sure most people think that great sex has to be kinky or extreme. If that’s your standard, great. Sex is all about what turns us on. But what great sex comes down to is a need to connect physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, and not always necessarily equally or at the same time.

Is great sex about being technically skilled? On one level, yes. If you don’t like shitty food, learn to cook. If you want to improve on your golf swing, take some lessons or spend some time at the driving range. Want to improve on your oral skills? Read a book or a blog article for tips and practice on your lover or a dildo. Great sex, like anything, doesn’t necessarily come naturally.

Is vanilla sex or the missionary position boring sex? Hell no. But if that’s all you do all the time, it’s going to get routine, boring or a chore. Research some new positions or techniques. Talk with your partner about something you’d like to try.

Is communication essential for great sex? Can a plane take off from or land at an airport without being in touch with the flight control tower?

Is hookup or friends with benefits sex better than monogamous sex? For some it is, for others it isn’t. Let’s not judge or debate this issue. It’s about as useless as telling someone that they should like peach pie when their preference is blueberry pie. What’s the point of pushing your preference on someone about something that doesn’t involve you?

If you’re going to do the friends with benefits thing, be a friend. Think of it this way: What do you think of that certain person who only calls you when they need something — a ride, fix something, help them move? That shit gets really old really fast. If you’re putting your partner out, your partner is not going to put out.

Are romance, seduction and chemistry important and necessary for great sex? In my opinion, those are the things that make the difference between good sex and great sex. The after effects last longer, well into the next day, weeks, months or even years.

Can great sex just be about a fierce and primal fuck? Fuck yeah.

Is sex without an orgasm great sex? It can be. Great sex isn’t always defined by the size of the “O”. It’s how you enjoy each other. Great sex is all about sharing naked bodies and minds.

Is porn sex great sex? Please. Are we really having this conversation? And if you’re a guy asking this, do you have a Coke bottle-sized cock that goes non-stop for 20 minutes? Didn’t think so. But there’s nothing wrong about indulging in your fantasies and getting visually or audibly turned on.