Great Sex & Relationships

What If Your Casual Encounter Relationship Feels Like Something More?

So what happens when your casual encounter relationship feels like something more than how you started out or intended?

It happens and it can be a great thing if the feelings are mutual.

People start out looking for casual sex encounters, especially on sites like Casual Encounters Melbourne (http://www.casualencountersmelbourne.com.au) or Casual Encounters Australia (www.casualencountersaustralia.com.au) for any number of reasons. And despite all of the rules people follow about not turning “just sex” into a relationship, sometimes lust turns into love. It’s not a far stretch to see and understand why that happens. Sex is as much emotional as is it physical. It feels good, especially when it’s with someone you really like and enjoy.

For some people that have fallen into this situation, the transition from hookup to capital “R” Relationship can be natural and easy. But what about those people that had pretty hard and fast reasons why they only wanted a casual encounter relationship? The people who are too busy with their lives and careers, travel a lot for work, or are married or have a long-time partner?

First of all, you have to get real and be honest with yourself about what you will have to do to keep and maintain a relationship. Can you make changes and compromises in your life to make a relationship work? Can you work past the baggage that may have been the reason why you originally did not want or could not have a capital “R” relationship?

Then pose your dilemmas and roadblocks to your new love interest. If the two of you can talk about sex, which I assume you did before and during the time you were hooking up, you should be able to talk about relationship issues.

Another thing to consider is that your evolving relationship doesn’t have to be like everyone else’s in order for it to work, be successful, or for you to be happy. As an example, in my situation, there aren’t many people who understand how we can have such a great relationship or how I can be happy in a long-term long distance relationship. Aside from their negative or doubtful opinions being inconsequential to me, our relationship is something we’ve talked about as it has evolved, especially when the “L” word came up.

The most important thing is to enjoy each other and take one day at a time. Great relationships are like great sex. Don’t focus on the destination, just enjoy the journey.

But what happens when you’ve fallen for a fuck buddy harder than they fell for you? It’s important to remember why you started seeing each other on a casual basis in the first place. It might suck to not have a casual sex partner reciprocate their feelings or not want to move past seeing you just for a booty call, but that’s something you should have expected and accepted since Day One. I don’t mean to sound like I’m not compassionate, but there are as many emotional risks in hooking up with someone as there are when you have big emotional hopes and expectations for a romantic or commitment-based relationship.

If that’s your situation, don’t beg, plead, or try to prove why you’re worthy of something more. Those tactics always backfire. There’s a big difference in wanting someone and being needy, and being needy is not a good relationship trait.

What if you’re on the awkward side of having to tell a casual sex partner that you don’t want what they want? Address the issue honestly and tactfully. Be polite, respectful and courteous. Be aware that it probably took a lot of courage for your casual sex partner to bring up this topic. It may be hard to tell someone something they don’t want to hear, but ducking out and going incommunicado is a douchey move. Being up front will probably save you the potential of your casual sex partner being a pest, harassing you, or going all-out crazy.

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This post is brought to you by Casual Encounters Melbourne (http://www.casualencountersmelbourne.com.au) or Casual Encounters Australia (www.casualencountersaustralia.com.au). Information and opinions about this topic are genuinely my own.