Great Sex & Relationships

Why I Prefer Older Men

AGWDM david rolin self portrait 2After I got divorced in my early 30’s, I never dated men under the age of 40. It wasn’t a daddy kink. I just always felt that older men were a better emotional and maturity fit for me.

Now that I’m 50 and am involved with a man who’s 20 years my senior, the age difference really isn’t an issue. We happen to get along because of our common interests, the things we believe in, the way our personalities mesh, and we both live in the here and now.

And if you must ask, yes, our sex life really is that great. He outperforms any man I’ve been with. So stop dropping your jaw and getting freaked out because a 70-year-old man enjoys sex and is good in bed.

In general, older men are hot for a number of reasons.

Conversation & Companionship
I recently ran into a former high school classmate, Tony*. He had always been the quintessential playboy type. He always had pictures of himself with some hot new blonde every week or so on his Facebook posts until he got married about a year ago or so.

He told me a bit about her and mentioned that she was 42 years old.

I was shocked, and I told him so.

“I used to make it a policy to never date a woman that was older than 30,” he said. “But after a while, I got tired of talking to girls whose idea of a conversation was what dress Beyoncé was wearing that day.”

Conversation has always been important to me. I’ve always been drawn to men who were very intelligent and articulate. If he was hot looking, I would just consider that a bonus.

Intimacy is More Than Sex
Matthew*, one of my male BFF’s, had been cougar bait for a better part of his adult life. But as he started approaching that landmark 50th birthday, he’s really wanted that one woman he could settle down with, even have kids, whether they were theirs or hers. Even though he’s horny as hell a lot of the time, he doesn’t date much and rarely gives into hookups.

“Don’t get me wrong, I want someone I can have fabulous sex with, but there are times when I just want to have someone I can cuddle on the couch with and watch movies on Netflix,” he told me once.

I totally get that. After all, how much time can you spend in bed together? There are many things Parrot and I do that are very enjoyable and intimate. There have been times when the two of us have watched presidential debates either together or texting commentaries between each other across the miles. Strange as it may sound, talking about politics is a huge turn-on between the two of us. Strange as it may sound, the more we talk, the hornier I get. He’s also equated sharing a platter of oysters over cocktails or an appetizer before dinner being like a form of public sex, and no one around us would never know.

In Some Ways, it’s All About Sex
I’ve found that most older men I’ve dated have been fabulous in bed, even if they had performance problems. Not all of them were skilled lovers, but at least they tried to please me as well as themselves. Bottom line, most older men don’t see sex as something they do to another person; it’s something they do with another person.

They Know the Value of Treating a Woman Well
When I dated a lot more often in my 30’s, I tried giving a few guys my age a chance, but they always came up short in treating me well. They were much too focused on getting me in bed because they were horny. They never asked much about or took an interest in me as a person. Somewhere in the conversations they’d complain about having to be a gentleman to women as if it were a chore or an obligation.

Once most men hit about 40 or 45, they take a lot more pleasure in treating a woman well, and not just in the bedroom. I’ve heard a lot of men say that the benefits and pleasure are mutual. Treating women well isn’t something they feel they have to do or because it was something they were taught when they were growing up, even though that’s a reason most of the time.

*Names have been changed to protect the non-so innocent.

Photo Credit: David Rolin, self-portrait

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